See, there was nothing to worry about all along!

David Cook wins American Idol 2008! (2007 for Randy, who by the way, tonight is playing the part of Captain Kangaroo by way of Chikezie)



Aww, so sweet when he won!! I even shed a tear. But then they got to the cornynation song (which was NOT the 80's movie montage song) and he had to sing about "searching for a magic rainbow." Oh dear....let's hope this isn't a taste of things to come.

I'm too happy for him right now to start thinking about that crap though, so let's relive some of the highlights from last night's cheesetastic finale! Which was fucking awesome!! Good job Idol (and I'm totally being serious. Ok, maybe the three pomegranate martinis helped a little.)




Did you hear? There's a new Mike Meyers movie coming out called "The Love Guru!!" This skit was actually pretty funny thanks to Mike talking about Archuleta growing pubes (which poor Archie doesn't understand) and to Archuleta's adlibbed shaving cream catch.


Then there was the "lost" tape of Gladys Knight auditioning her new Pips:


It doesn't get any awesomer than Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. Oh look, Ben Stiller's there too.


Try not to take your eyes off Amanda "I don't give two fucks" Overmeyer's bitchface and half-assyness when the Top 6 girls sing with Donna Summer:


Seacrest makes up for Amanda's shitty tude at 4:10. Watch him bust out! Can't blame him. Sometimes you just can't help it when you hear the music of the Divine Donna Summer!

Here's the Top 12 singing a medley of George Michael songs:


David Hernandez gets the "naked" line!

George Michael makes everybody forget about that whole "bathroom" incident:



They promised us the "BIGGEST STAR IN THE WORLD!"...and delivered:



Oh shit, you gotta warn us before you do that!:


I went to take a pee break and missed half of this last night. Thank god for YouTube!! Hey Cook, I got a Metrocard, call me!

Oh shit, you gotta warn us before you do that!:


I went to take another pee break and missed half of this, making me wish it was a poo break. Archie's a cute kid, but this was creepy. Thank GOD Lou Pearlman is locked up.

Who told Jordin Sparks this dress was a good idea?


Jennifer Hudson's stylist?

Who told Carrie Underwood this dress was a good idea?


She just needs a white hat with netting and she's all set for her wedding at city hall!

David Cook performed with ZZ Top and kids around the world said "who are those weird guys with the long beards?"


Hey David, you got that whole Metrocard reference before, right? Just making sure.

Syesha duets with Seal:


Brooke duets with Graham Nash:


Carly duets with...Michael Johns? Ok..


Jason Castro duets with.....nobody:


And unfortunately, he doesn't sing "Memory".

David Archuleta sang "Too Late to Apologize"


Jeff Archuleta said "Damn right son, you're getting the belt!"


Let's find out how Archie's fans reacted:




By the way, has anyone seen Archie since yesterday anyway? I'm a bit worried.