This guy pwns

Simon: "Why are you trying out for American Idol?"

Chris: "I want to make David Hasselhoff cry."


I hope he makes the top 12!



Pickler 2.0's gotta go though.
BTW - Why the frig was she wearing a shirt that says " Blue-Eyed Bombshell?" Her eyes looked brown to me! Is adding color-blindness to her list of sobstories? Wait, don't tell me, in addition to her daddy being paralyzed after a botched murder-suicide attempt, her dreams of becoming a pilot are also crushed now right?

GET OFF MY TV!

Donald vs. Vince BOR-ING! BOR-ING! BOR-ING!

WATCH IT HERE

So Donald Trump made an appearance via satellite on this past Monday Night Raw. He began a feud with Vince McMahon by one-upping him on "fan appreciation" night and dumping thousands of dollars of [real] cash on fans in attendance. I hope at least some of those fans were the same ones that had to pay to watch the awful Donald vs. Rosie fight a couple weeks ago. They deserve their money back! Expect this publicity stunt to drag on until Wrestlemania.

SOURCE

She's a huge Dogstar fan

Life & Style Weekly reports that Keanu and Jen had a secret date and spent some time together over the holidays at her home.

Is this true or the work of publicists? Too early to tell. I do like the idea of these two together though.

Source

Simon, Randy, and Courtney?

Courtney Love recently revealed to her Usmagazine.com ' that Idol's executive producer Nigel Lythgoe called her office last week inquiring into whether she would be interested in sitting in as a judge on the hit FOX show.

"He called," Love tells Usmagazine.com. "He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant." '

Courtney was hush-hush about any further details.

Supposedly one of those pesky "sources" scooped to Usmagazine.com that Lythgoe was considering hiring Love to "replace Paula."

American Idol reps could not immediately be reached for comment.


So what, Paula isn't crazy enough? They want an actual murderer? Someone with even less vocal talent (she is a great songwriter though)? My guess is someone prankcalled Courtney. I can imagine it wouldn't be hard to do.

Donna Martin Refrigerates!

Eonline reports that expectant mother Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott are having a couples-shower for their upcoming baby hosted by Tupperware! Yes, this is news.

That's just awesome to me. Tupperware has been cool ever since Kimberly on Melrose had the split personality and when she became Betsy she was all prim and proper and hosted Tupperware parties. Hey maybe Marcia Cross will come to the party. Wow! 90210, Melrose, Donna's pregnant, Kimberly's pregnant and what seals them all neatly and airtightly together? TUPPERWARE! I'm so deep I make myself cry sometimes.

Anyway Tori is still on the outs with her mom Candy, but her tv mom from the sadly-taken-from-us-before-it's-time show So noTORIous, Loni Anderson will be there.

Brandy Sued for 50 Million

' The parents of a woman killed in a freeway crash involving Brandy sued the actress-singer for $50 millionUS yesterday. The wrongful-death suit claims Brandy was driving recklessly when her Land Rover struck the back of a Honda driven by Awatef Aboudihaj, 38. The suit was filed on behalf of Aboudihaj Ahmed and Labridi Zohra in Los Angeles Superior Court. It comes a day after the California Highway Patrol recommended Brandy be charged with misdemeanour vehicular manslaughter in the Dec. 30 accident. '
SOURCE

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE COURT PAPERS

In related news: How unfair! Brandy is a celebrity!
From TMZ:
' Black civil rights leaders in Los Angeles claim the California Highway Patrol has made singer/actress Brandy "a political trophy."

The Los Angeles City Attorney is deciding whether to file misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter charges against Brandy, whose Land Rover slammed into a Toyota on the 405 Freeway killing the driver.

Today, Najee Ali, leader of Project Islamic HOPE, said the CHP's recommendation to file charges against the singer "is unfairly targeting her for prosecution because of her celebrity." Ali told TMZ he is organizing an e-mail campaign in the African American community to put pressure on City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo to reject the case.

Delgadillo says "We will treat this case like every other case and treat it very seriously because someone died." '


Um, excuse me? Reject the case because she's a celebrity? What is this, the Vince Neil loophole? Does she think she's getting PUNK'D again? She's not even much of a celebrity anymore. Wasn't there a very special episode of Moesha where the lesson was to take responsibility for your actions?

Damn Harry, you're, um, hairy!

Here's a promotional still from the upcoming play, Equus, starring Harry Potter (aka Daniel Radcliffe) . Don't worry if you feel weird about Harry Potter putting the hurt on your penis though, it's quickly gone after you find out what the play is about. (Unless you're into that kind of thing. Which is kinda gross because personally I find donkeys much sexier.)

PHOTO

Here's what the almighty Wiki says:

" Shaffer was inspired to write his play when he heard of a crime involving a teenage boy's apparently senseless injury to horses. He then set out to construct a fictional account of what might have caused the incident, without knowing any of the details of the crime. The play is posited as a kind of postmodern detective story.

The boy, who worked part-time in the stables where the attack occurred, would take a certain horse out for occasional night rides. Those jaunts functioned as the set piece for an elaborate ritual of exaltation constructed by his anguished psyche.

Delving into Alan's tormented mind causes Dysart to confront his own spiritual atrophy, the result of a modern consumer culture that tolerates only enervated conformity. Dysart reflects: "That boy has known a passion more ferocious than I have felt in any second of my life. And let me tell you something: I envy it. ... I watch [my wife]...night after night—a woman I haven't kissed in six years— and he stands in the dark for an hour, sucking the sweat off his god's hairy cheek!"

Yeah sorry, I didn't understand a lot of those words either. Basically the guy's pretty messed up and may or may not fuck horses but it's artsy and deep so it's ok.

If you can't wait until Sunday

Here's the K-Fed Nationwide Commercial! It's Popozaolicious!

Photo Fun

Congrats to Penelope Cruz who won a Goya Award (Spain's "Oscars" It's Goya, really) I'm sorry but it looks like the "meteor" in Joe Dirt.

"Hey bitch you talkin' about Justin? You best shut your damn mouth! I'll cut you!"

Look at that dog (that actual dog I mean, not Pete) He smells something.

Paris accompanied Nicole on her audition to star in the remake of the video for Addicted To Love.

PHOTOS

What's Going On With Diddy and Sienna

So Sienna and [new father of twins] Diddy have been hanging everywhere lately--they were seen together at the Sundance Film Festival and most recently, Bungalow 8. Their reps insist they are just friends.

Innocent right? So then how come this morning Diddy sent a bodyguard over to try to delete this photo of him dropping her off at her hotel?


Methinks Kimmy's gonna be sporting some new bling pretty soon.

SOURCE

I Totally Called It!

Last week, I posted that Hilary Duff was on the verge of taking a dip in the drunken skanky waters now that she's "free."

Guess what? She recently got wasted at everyone's favorite hangout Hyde.

Here's the report from UsWeekly:

' Hilary Duff was far from her usual goody-two-shoes self on January 25 when she and older sister Haylie showed up at L.A. club Hyde with a huge entourage.

Our Usmagazine.com tattler tells us that Hilary -- who has been single since splitting in November from Good Charlotte rocker Joel Madden (he's currently dating Nicole Richie) -- arrived arm-in-arm with her sis' a little after 11 p.m., looking tipsy. Hilary, 19, soon was teetering over to the women’s restroom with one of her girlfriends and a "flamboyant" male friend. “It was kind of inappropriate,” the onlooker sneers. “She was pretty drunk and staggering around the bathroom, bumping into people and shrieking that her gay male friend had a vagina so it was okay for him to be there.”

The sisters continued to party Paris Hilton-style throughout the night at a VIP table, where our source says they were “all over” their two man-dates. Haylie 21, whispered in the ear of her 30-ish-year-old date while kissing his neck. Hilary perched on her date’s lap, laughing and flirting with her own older man. Says the source: “When I’ve seen Hilary out in the past, she has been relatively composed, but tonight she was acting pretty wild.” '


I have to admit, I had a little help from my buddy Zoltar on this one. So Zoltar, what do you predict next for Hil?



ZOLTAR SAYS: "CROTCHSHOTS BY NEXT FRIDAY."

What Are the Asshats Up To?

""Rehab is a blast! I'm having so much fun in there! I think I'll go back tomorrow for an hour or so after my ass-bleaching appointment!"

"Hold still Tom, you got some loose thetans!"

Here's my aunt Thelma on the way to bingo with her lucky hat and Marlboro Menthols. Wait, I'm sorry, that's Britney on her way to [laugh, choke, gag] dance rehearsals.

"Careful Ferg, I know a rubber chicken is funny but don't wet your pants again!"

"How dare we not get any privacy in the bushes! Do you know who I am?? "

Rachel McAdams continues to suffer from a Manic Panic mishap.

PHOTOS

$CIENTOLOGY UPDATE

IN (?):

Well, she's already got the perfect outfit!

Rumor is that J-Lo and Ratboy are looking into joining Scientology. Now a report is out that Jennifer's father has been a Scientologist for 20 years.

"It's weird people want to paint [Scientology] in a negative way," Jen is quoted as saying. "It's just sad that people would look at it in that way."

I don't know which is be more annoying: the whole Bennifer thing or J-Lo as a S$ientologist. Tough one.
SOURCE

OUT:


From The New York Daily News:

Victoria Beckham is telling pals she has no intention of joining the Church of Scientology, despite her close friendship with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. "There's no way I'd spend any money on that nonsense," she told a friend recently about the faith founded by author L. Ron Hubbard.

Says another pal: "It's completely laughable that there's even talk of her becoming a Scientologist. Just because people are friends with someone doesn't mean they do everything they do. Scientology is like kabbala in that it's become all about money. Kabbala bracelets are now $28! It's a joke." '

Ut oh, Tom's gonna be pissed about that one. I bet he'll make Katie stop being friends with Posh.

AAAACKK!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!

SAG AWARD RESULTS

J-Hud and Eddie are two for two

Female Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries
Helen Mirren / ELIZABETH I

Male Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries
Jeremy Irons / ELIZABETH I

Female Actor in a Comedy Series
America Ferrera / UGLY BETTY

Male Actor in a Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin / 30 ROCK

Ensemble in a Comedy Series
THE OFFICE

Male Actor in a Supporting Role
Eddie Murphy / DREAMGIRLS

Life Achievement Award
Julie Andrews

Female Actor in a Drama Series
Chandra Wilson / GREY’S ANATOMY

Male Actor in a Drama Series
Hugh Laurie / HOUSE

Ensemble in a Drama Series
GREY’S ANATOMY

Female Actor in a Supporting Role
Jennifer Hudson / DREAMGIRLS

Male Actor in a Leading Role
Forest Whitaker / THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

Female Actor in a Leading Role
Helen Mirren / THE QUEEN

Ensemble Cast of a Motion Picture
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

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Hillary Duff's About To Go Britney

On Ryan Seacrest's radio show, Hilary Duff said that dating "is fun. I kind of feel like a guy, like I can do it now. But I feel kind of wrong at the same time." She went on to say "I've never gotten to [date] before, so it's kind of exciting. I've always just had a boyfriend, you know? I'm young!"


Oh dear. "I feel like a guy." "I feel kind of wrong." " I'm young!" I can see where this is going. Pretty soon she'll be doing lines with Paris and ditching her panties. Hilary, don't do it, you are a nice girl. That kind of behavior is so yesterday. So yesterday.

SOURCE

More Pregnant Celebs!

Prison Break's [Dr.] Sarah Wayne Callies is expecting her first child with husband Josh Winterhalt, her publicist said Tuesday. The baby is due in late summer. Producers aren't sure if they are going to work the pregnancy into the storyline next season or if they'll hide it by cleverly having her carry around huge bags of groceries or lie in bed in a coma.
SOURCE



Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton 31, and boyfriend Jade Jones, 27 are expecting a child. "I guess I will be handing over the 'Baby' tag now to a deserving little new owner," she said in a statement. I guess he took a break from going "Downtown."
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Fast Food Workers: We are embarrassed to be associated with K-Fed

From STAR MAGAZINE:
K-FED AD INSULTS FAST FOOD WORKERS
Kevin Federline may want to think twice before eating at McDonalds. The soon-to be ex husband of Britney Spears and wannabe rapper incurring the anger of the fast-food industry with a soon-to-be aired commercial for Nationwide Insurance.

The commercial which runs on Super Bowl Sunday shows K-Fed fantasizing about being a big-time rapper — but is actually a short order cook at a fast food joint. Federline says the commercial attempts to make fun of his own image. But a top executive at the National Restaurant Association doesn't see it that way. She blasts the ad as "demeaning and unpleasant" to the nations nearly 13 million restaurant employees. "It shouldn't be necessary for a company to disrespect others to get its point across," restaurant rep Annika Stensson told the New York Post.

A Nationwide spokesman defends the K-Fed commercials. "It's a humorous take on one person's life. The focus of the ad is the element of surprise, not the setting of fast-food restaurants.


Oh yeah, right. They're making fun of the element of surprise only. Let's just see what our friend the Geico Caveman has to say about that.



Geico Caveman: "What if he woke up as an insurance company spokesman?"
Nationwide Spokesman: "Well , that wouldn't be funny."
Geico Caveman: "Why? Because insurance company spokesmen are smart?"
Nationwide Spokesman: "No."
Geico Caveman: "Because insurance company spokesmen make over minimum wage?"
"Nationwide Spokesman: "Um, dude, you do realize that YOU are also an insurance company spokesman, right?"
Geico Caveman: "Oh right. I guess I'm outta here then. SCREW YOU FAST FOOD WORKERS!! LOOO-SERS!!!"

Pamelooney?

Speaking of George Clooney and that scene in Borat with Pam Anderson (I rule at segues!).....guess who's reportedly dating??

George Clooney and Pamela Anderson have become Hollywood's most unlikely couple after the pair was spotted frolicking together on a romantic, fun dinner date.

The Oscar winner booked a private room at Sherman Oaks, California restaurant the Valley Inn, and entertained the former Baywatch babe there on January 7, according to reports.

Since that evening, which ended with Anderson sitting on her date's lap, the odd couple has been spotted out and about, enjoying dog walks together.

A pal says: "George and Pam have been determined to keep this one quiet."
SOURCE


I can't believe it took almost ten days for this story to break. Everyone is very shocked by this. I can kind of see why. It's like the Class President going out with the ditzy, big-boobed cheerleader. But in defense of Pammy, just don't say "Why her, she's such a slut!" because I'm sure his number is just as high, if not higher. Oh wait, I'm sorry, he's a guy.

Stalker Alert -ME!

OMGYGLOLLLKL;;!!!!!111111!! I'm so excited!! Tonight I get to meet my favorite wrestler/current #1 spot on my laminated list, the Rated R Superstar, Edge!! He's doing a meet & greet a local mall with Randy Orton (not so excited about him, I hear he poops in women's gym bags).

Yes, I am aware of how corny that sounds and that I am nearly 30 years old, but I bet if it were George Clooney, somehow it would be ok right? Thought so, bite me!

Right now I'm working on a wedding sack so I can take him down, Borat-style. It's either that or molest him like Shawn Michaels did on RAW last Monday. I haven't decided yet.

I Bet Fox Picks It Up

FROM PAGE SIX:
January 26, 2007 -- HOW ridiculous can "reality" TV get? Producer Kevin Blatt is shopping a show in which 10 young men "medically verified" to be virgins compete for the chance to lose their cherries to "a celeb." In what's billed as "Big Brother meets Howard Stern," contestants will be locked in a house where they must abstain from any form of sexual activity while their every move is monitored. Viewers vote to eliminate the losers one by one until there's one virgin left.


I can't imagine what celebrity would be willing to do this. It would have to be porn star. Or Screech.

I wonder how they are going to medically verify these guys. What can they do? Check to see if they are wearing Spiderman briefs? Hook sensors up to their penises and see if they get aroused while watching The Wrath of Khan?

The Mentally Handicapped Are Like Children - You Can Cheer Them Up With a Trip To Disney

Rosie O'Donnell felt so bad for the way Jonathan Jayne and Kenneth Briggs (you know, "bushbaby" and his large friend) were treated on American Idol (not to mention wanting to keep her name in the news) that she gave them both a backstage tour of the View (just what they always wanted I'm sure) and all-expense paid trips to Disney World. That was pretty nice of Rosie. Now they can feel better about themselves when they see the people dressed up as Goofy for a living.

Source

Where's Jacko?

TOKYO (AP) — Michael Jackson is back in the United States after living in Bahrain, France and Ireland. He emerged with his spokeswoman Friday to confirm to The Associated Press that he is back after more than a year in self-imposed exile following his acquittal in a high-profile child molestation trial that ended in June 2005.

They also said he is on the comeback trail — planning a pair of "fan appreciation events" in Japan in March, one of which will charge $3,300 for the opportunity to meet the Gloved One.

"I can confirm that he is in the United States," spokeswoman Raymone K. Bain said. "We don't give out information regarding our client's whereabouts because of safety, and this is just an ongoing policy." [Me: Is that for his safety or the American children's?]

During the brief conference call, Jackson read a statement prepared for The Associated Press about his plans to visit Japan and allowed only one question: How are you?

"I'm fine, thank you," was his reply.

SOURCE AND CONTINUED

I don't see how it would be that hard to find him. My guess would be that you can find him at a grammar school, Chuck E. Cheese, or a NAMBLA meeting.

Oh, and $3,300 to meet that freak? For that much, you'd better be able to keep the nose!

Nicole Kidman in crash on the set of her new movie

CLICK HERE TO SEE VIDEO

' LOS ANGELES - Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman and seven other people suffered minor injuries on a movie set on Thursday after the car they were riding in crashed into a light pole, police said.

All eight of the injured, including Kidman, were taken to a local hospital for examination after the accident, which occurred at about 1am (9.00pm Thursday NZT), Los Angeles police spokeswoman Karen Smith said.

Smith said all eight people were released from the hospital and did not suffer major injuries.

The Los Angeles Police Department will likely conduct a routine traffic accident investigation into the crash, which occurred while a stunt driver was at the wheel of the car, she said.

Celebrity news program Extra reported that in addition to Kidman, the injured included three other actors, a camera crew and several stuntmen. According to Extra the accident happened during filming of the thriller The Invasion. '

- REUTERS

The following statement was released:

OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON KIDMAN ACCIDENT
There was an accident involving a rigged camera vehicle on the set of THE INVASION Wednesday night (1/24/07) in Los Angeles. Nicole Kidman was in the vehicle at the time of the accident and was taken to the hospital for evaluation. She was released shortly thereafter. No other actors were involved in the scene at the time of the incident. Two additional crew members sustained minor injuries as a result of the collision. The production took the appropriate steps following the incident to ensure the safety of the cast and crew. Production resumed Wednesday evening and Kidman will return to the set on Thursday, January 25.

SOURCE


It is not known at this point if Brandy is responsible for this accident.
(I'm sorry, that was really tasteless, even for me)

Might as well JUMP!! OWW MY HIP!!!

+

=

Billboard.com reported yesterday that ' a contract could be signed as soon as today for Live Nation to produce a 40-date amphitheatre tour by Van Halen this summer, with original frontman David Lee Roth back in the fold for the first time in more than 20 years.

As previously reported, guitarist Eddie Van Halen's 15-year-old son Wolfgang has stepped in for original bassist Michael Anthony in the new incarnation of the group, which also features drummer Alex Van Halen.

"I see it absolutely as an inevitability," Roth told Billboard.com last May of a potential reunion with his ex-bandmates. "To me, it's not rocket surgery. It's very simple to put together. And as far as hurt feelings and water under the dam, like what's-her-name says to what's-her-name at the end of the movie 'Chicago' -- 'So what? It's showbiz!' So I definitely see it happening." '

Yeah, it'll be just like the old days, minus Dave's hair and Eddie's teeth! ROCK ON!!

It's all Celestia's Fault!

Anne ruled as Vicky/Marley on Another World. You are my way (you are my way)....

FROM PEOPLE:

' Anne Heche has split from her cameraman husband Coley Laffoon, the star's rep confirms to PEOPLE.

The couple "have decided to separate after five years of marriage," the actress's rep said in a statement Wednesday. "They have requested that they be allowed their privacy at this time."

Laffoon, 33, and Heche, 37, wed in 2001, and have a 4-year-old son, Homer.

Entertainment Tonight has reported that the Men in Trees actress is romantically involved with her costar, James Tupper. Heche's rep had no comment on the relationship. Tupper split from his wife in November, according to ET. His rep had no comment when reached by PEOPLE. '

When reached for comment Anne had this to say: "Oh, Quiness, Nakka dune notta. Ik all notra daska don.''

Kate and Owen - back on?

Looks like Kate Hudson wanted a little more ass-licking from the Butterscotch Stallion. They were seen together in Australia, where Kate is filming a movie called "Fool's Gold."

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This guy's gonna be on American Idol tonight!

I realized I was a reality show junkie last night when I saw this guy in the credits and remembered him from So You Think You Can Dance. Anyone else? That mouth!

Why didn't Bush address this in his speech?

We need to send some of those troops to American Idol.

For real. According to a poster on survivorsucks, this photo was posted on this guy's MySpace page:

Don't say I didn't warn you. I bet he sings Rock the Casbah.

You know you have problem when K-Fed seems like the responsible one

A source recently told STAR MAGAZINE: “Kevin has tried to convince Britney to check herself into rehab from every possible angle. First he tried threatening to take away the kids, then he tried pleading with her to take care of herself.” This mystery source then continued,“They’re being raised by strangers. He told Britney to get help before it’s too late.”

I misjudged that K-Fed. I thought he was threatening to take away the kids for money! Silly me!

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Married?

These hands (and wedding rings) belong to Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger. The rumor is that they have secretly married. The NY Post reported last month that they applied for a marriage license in Brooklyn so could be. They aren't saying though.

I hope it's true for Matilda's sake. The kids gonna get enough grief for having that name, at least now she won't be a bastard on top of it. (Just kidding, I love these two and hope they are [privately] happy together.) Congrats![/whisper]

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