Silly Jen Aniston, did you buy a voodoo doll?

Oh no!! At the U.K. premiere of her new movie Beowulf, Saint Angelina's leather pants split up the crack. Oh Angie, you porker!! Geez, before you know it, she'll get so big she'll be wearing adult sized clothes!

Fortunately she had her bitch Brad with her so he was able to cover the split seam. Good job Brad! But too bad PEOPLE blew your cover.


Angie's bad luck didn't end there however. She also stepped in a huge wad of gum and got it all over her Louboutin's. (was Britney there?)

God this is like a bad 80's comedy. Or that even worse Lindsay Lohan stinker Just My Luck!

And it just kept getting worse.

Angelina also failed to notice that she had spinach stuck in her teeth:


And a huge pussy zit on her nose!


And then her head spontaneously combusted!



Personally, I think it's all the stress.