Random (not so) Deep Thought

So I'm a huge pro-wrestlin----I mean sports entertainment fan (girls listen to me: Melrose Place on 'roids. Half-naked dudes! Whatever, your loss.) and everytime the WWE is in town, I'm there, such was the case last night at Monday Night Raw. I love the atmosphere--everyone's into it, unlike in regular life. I've decided that there are a lot of closet fans (you know, similiar to how Nickelback sells millions of albums but no one admits to buying them). It's like a cool club, ok it's like a club, and people are so into it. Young, old, men, women, kids, you really get a warm and fuzzy feeling (could be the beer though). They wear the tee-shirts, make signs, know the chants, etc. That's all fun and dandy. But I just can't for the life of me figure one thing out:

The grown men that walk around the arena carrying the replica belts.

If you've ever been to a WWE event you know what I'm talking about. If not, well there's an example above (sorry I couldn't find a better picture--I'll be sure to take one next time) Ok, kids in their John Cena spinner belts are one thing, but I'm referring to MEN, many over the age of 30! And there are a lot of them. And it's not like a goof thing. They are totally serious about it. They have to be. Those damn things are expensive! Look here I really don't get it and I wear the tee-shirts and make the signs too so I'm not some mature elitist wrestling fan (I realize that's an oxymoron). I guess it's kind of like collecting baseball cards or something---no, no actually it isn't, it's just bizarre. I mean boxing fans don't do that and boxing's real. ??????

?????

Wait! Maybe that's it! Maybe it's a whole make-believe fantasy thing, like Dungeons and Dragons! Yes, I've thunk it out! It's all coming together! I'm going to write Yale about obtaining a grant to conduct a study to determine the number of males who play D&D and see if there is any correlation to the number of males of the same demographic that walk around arenas with their $400 replica WWE title belts! I'll let you know how that goes.

In related news, Edge's ass looked awesome.

Save Your Ass Tips of the Day (with Moxie Crimefighter)

Superhero Asshat Hollywood correspondant, Moxie CrimeFighter has sat through numerous hours of dangerous animal documentaries to keep your ass safe. So pay attention to her following tips:

-If you throw a firecracker into a herd of elephants they will get angry and try to kill you (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-If you punch a blue shark in the gills it will get angry and try to kill you (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-If you light a cigarette near a polar bear it will get angry and try to kill you (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-If you sit on the back of a crocodile and smack it across the snout it will get angry and try to kill you (T-Rex: New Science New Beast Discovery Channel)

-Reef sharks arch their back when they’re preparing to attack. If you see a reef shark with an arched back do not stop to take its photo. Especially with a flash. It will get angry and try to kill you. (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-A walrus can knock your head off your body and suck out your brains. Get too close to a walrus and it will get angry and try to kill you. (Up Close and Dangerous APL)

-The Sea of Cortez is full of man-eating squid. They hunt in packs and each squid has 36,000 razor sharp teeth on its tentacles and a beak that can crush the head of a tuna. They’re smart too. A diver was latching himself in a safety cage when a squid rushed up, undid the latch and devoured the diver. OK I made that last part up. The squid tried to open the latch so he could devour the diver but was unsuccessful. (Killer Squid, Discovery Channel)

-The hippopotamus is responsible for more human deaths than any other animal in Africa. 99% of all hippo attacks are fatal. Hippo’s are badasses. When injured the hippo can heal itself lickety split as its skin secretes antibiotics. (Ultimate Hippo National Geo)

-Between the sharks and the orcas, swimming with seals in a really bad idea. (up Close and Dangerous)


-If you’re fleeing a swarm of Africanized bees it does no good to jump in water. They’ll just be waiting for you when you get out. Bees are patient. (Killer Bees National Geographic)

These are all accounts from wildlife photographers and their close encounters. The photographers all admit they were in the animals kingdom and didn't blame the animal.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I hope everyone learned something from this. Like, don't become a wildlife photographer, for one.

Ha ha Piggies!!

LOS ANGELES - A judge rejected a request by two fraternity brothers to halt the DVD release of the hit spoof movie “Borat.”

West Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Joseph S. Biderman also refused to order the removal of a scene that includes the two men, who claim they had been duped into misbehaving on camera.

Biderman issued his two-page decision on Friday after hearing arguments the previous day.

The South Carolina fraternity brothers filed a lawsuit Nov. 9 claiming they were tricked into making racist and sexist remarks to British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen in “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.”

In one scene of the mockumentary, Cohen as rowdy Kazakh journalist Borat hangs out with the men in a motor home and watches the Pamela Anderson-Tommy Lee sex tape.

The fraternity brothers claim the filmmakers got them drunk before getting them to sign release forms agreeing to appear in the film. Their names do not appear in the lawsuit.

The film “made plaintiffs the objects of ridicule, humiliation, mental anguish, and emotional and physical distress,” the lawsuit claims.

A trial date for the lawsuit, which seeks unspecified monetary damages, has not been set.

Louis Petrich, an attorney for 20th Century Fox and One America Productions, said he was pleased about the judge’s decision.

SOURCE


Those guys need to become Amish. Then they'll be ok.

Prince is so boring now

Funk veteran Prince to play at Super Bowl show

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Funk rock veteran Prince will perform during the halftime show at the Super Bowl in February.

The slot during the most-watched television show in the United States has come under scrutiny since Janet Jackson's breast-baring "wardrobe malfunction" in 2004 led to sharply higher fines for broadcast indecency.

This year, the Rolling Stones were bleeped a few times during their three-song set, much to their annoyance.

Prince, the 48-year-old Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee who rose to fame on the strength of such tunes as "Little Red Corvette" and "Let's Go Crazy," will perform at Dolphin Stadium near Miami on Sunday, February 4. The game will be televised on CBS, a unit of CBS Corp. This year's event, held in Detroit, drew 91 million viewers in the United States, according to Nielsen Media Research.

It's unlikely Prince will have problems with censors from the network and the National Football League. He has become a Jehovah's Witness and disavowed the kinkier tunes that make up a hefty chunk of his catalog.

His Super Bowl performance was announced on the CBS sports show "NFL Today," three days after he received five nominations for the Grammy Awards, the music industry's most prestigious event.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so tired of celebrities that ruled as sluts trying to be all good and proper. Angelina decides to pursue the sainthood, Madonna's writing children's books and Prince is a damn Jehovah's witness and he won't swear. What's next is Fergie going to become a nun? ENOUGH!!! Bring back the assless pants and "Sexy Motherfucker" already!

Nicole's Mugshot

As we learned this morning, Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI

Her mug shot was finally released:



(It wasn't as bad as I hoped, so I Nolte'd it up a bit.)

YouTube Picks of the Day

The Greatest Moment in Saturday Morning Television..........EVER

Apocalypto Recut

Remember Doug? The State ruled

More fun with Legos

This chick is hot

Which Song Would You Choose If You Had To Be Locked In a Room For 24 Hours Listening To It?

Fergalicious vs Lips of An Angel


This is a tough one. Both of these songs are on every 5 fricking minutes and are equally grating. Hinder are being hailed as the new saviours of rock-n-roll (Gag, Cough! Puh-lease! Real rock stars bang whoever they want and don't write a wussy song about the hardships of being faithful!) Then we have Fergie's latest jab-pencils-in-your-ears rip-off of J.J. Fad's awesome song that everyone under 30 will think Stacy-- ooh sorry-- Fergie, wrote (you know, like Diddy wrote Kashmir) I'm so disgusted with music these days I don't know which one is worse. Debate amongst yourselves.