Speaking of Starbucks:

NO!!! DON'T DO IT BRITNEY!!!

Shit! It's a relapse!! Oh, god, she was doing so good too.

Somebody call Dr. Drew.

If he's not available, call Gary Busey (it's ok, he's a participant, not a patient!)!!!

It's Still a Felony!

"Hey I'll be able to vote in the next election. Then I'll get a free Starbucks too!"

Chill Oprah!

Anybody else tired of listening to Oprah Winfrey run her mouth about Obama everywhere you turn? Nothing wrong with getting behind a candidate (although I do wish all these celebs would just keep it to themselves) but seriously, settle down Beavis! Even Barack's like "Ok, thanks for your support. I really need to go, umm, maybe you can go do some live paternity tests on your show or something now? Hey, look, there's Tom Cruise!"

Well as you could imagine, she's just losing her shit today. And now she may jinx him with the old "one chicken, two chickens, three chickens" after announcing on a morning radio talk show that she already has the gown that she will wear to his inaugural ball.

She told N.Y.C.’s Power 105 host Ed Lover this morning that she's been planning her ensemble since February with "vision boards" (I didn't know either. Apparently, it's some of that Secret type shit where you paste a bunch of photos to a board and then all your dreams will come true.)

She said:

“So help me God, I am looking at it right now…. Actually I started in February. I was speaking with Michelle [Obama] and Caroline Kennedy and Maria Shriver — we were all doing a big rally out in California. At the end of the rally Michelle Obama said something powerful, ‘and I want you to leave here and envision Barack Obama taking the oath of office’…. I created a vision board. I had never had a vision board before. I came home, I got me a board and put Barack Obama’s picture on it and I put a picture of my dress I want to wear to the inauguration. Last week I said to the stylist, ‘Take it out of the closet. Let’s take it out. Let’s hang it up, and let it air out.’”

Oprah inspired me to create my very own vision board:


Seriously, if you support Obama and he loses, blame Oprah. And if you are McCain supporter and he wins, thank her.

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Isn't there something I'm supposed to do today?

Oh yeah.

For extra incentive, here's some shit you can get for voting today:

• Free donut at Krispy Kreme

• Free coffee at Starbucks

• Free ice cream at Ben and Jerry's

• 20% off at Trina Trunk boutiques

• 15% off at French Connection stores

• Free taco at California Taco

• Free sex toys at Babeland
  

Great Moments in Axl History: #22-20

#22: Axl and Elton John (aka - Axl Rose does not hate gay people!)

Hey remember when there was all that controversy over Eminem (who many called homophobic because of his song lyrics) performing with Elton John at the Grammy's a few years ago? Sure you do. They performed the song Stan and it was very touching the way they came together to perform a song about a murder/suicide to show the world that there was no hate there. Then they hugged and Eminem gave the audience the double bird. And after that, everything was magically ok. Elton made everything better.

But that wasn't the first time Elton performed with a young, controversial, potty-mouthed star accused of being a homophobe. Ten years before the Eminem performance, Guns N' Roses were under a lot of fire for lyrics to their song, One in a Million, in which Axl basically uses every offensive slur and streotype there is to describe an ignorant kid from Indiana's bigoted view of the world when he arrives in Los Angeles. Despite much "I didn't mean ALL of them" back pedaling and many rants attempting to explain where the song came from, the band were still labeled as bigots by many groups and were even kicked off an AIDS benefit show.

Enter Elton John (a personal hero of Axl's) to weave (no pun intended) his magic at the Freddie Mercury Tribute show.



Elton John, Freddie Mercury's music, and Axl in a skirt!! Hey, maybe he's not such a hater after all! Since then, they two became pretty good friends and even teamed up again at the MTV Video Music Awards in 1992 to perform November Rain:




It doesn't appear that the two have had much contact in recent years, but if they have, shame on you Elton for not giving Axl the number of your hair guy!

#21 Axl vs. The Press (aka: "I'll kick your bitchy little ass, punk!")

In another controversial song (that's what's missing from the new stuff! Controversy! Well that and Slash. And Duff....And, nevermind.............) Axl decided to add one of his awesome rants into a song on the album and call out, by name, every rock journalist and media mogul that ever pissed him off. The band added in some boxing metaphors and screaming crowds for added effect and it made for a pretty awesome fight song to play loudly as you drive your car really fast when you're pissed at somebody. The song was aptly titled Get In the Ring.

Here's a fanmade video of the song with clips from Celebrity Deathmatch. (It was between this one and an anime one.)




If "Bob Guccione Jr. at Spin, what you pissed off cause your dad gets more pussy than you? Fuck you, suck my fuckin' dick!" wasn't the nineties version of "I hope Neil Young will remember, a Southern man don’t need him ‘round, anyhow," then I just don't know what was.


#20: The Second Greatest Video of All Time (aka: What's with the dolphins dude?)

It didn't seem possible, but Axl followed up November Rain with an even bigger epic production.

Originally the idea was for it to star (the Evil) Stephanie Seymour, but she and Axl broke up before the filming began, so some changes had to be made to the plot. So, it goes like this: The Feds bust in Axl's house, some kids play on a swing, Micheal Bolton and other people dressed in white take Axl's stuff away, Axl is crazy and sad so he goes on a Carnival cruise, then he gets really pissed the Dolphin Experience was filled (You HAVE to sign up for those excursions early!) so he takes matters into his own hands and jumps off the ship and finds some dolphins to swim with, and Slash is Jesus (like we needed proof!)



THIS HAS BEEN GREAT MOMENTS IN AXL HISTORY

Heidi Klum pisses off the Hindus

Heidi Klum continued her tradition of wearing awesome, extravagant, and non-slutty Halloween costumes this year by dressing up as Hindu Goddess Kali.

But now many Hindu scholars have their panties (most likely not from Victoria's Secret) in a bunch over it and even feel Heidi should make a public apology for posing as a sacred figure.

Indo-American statesman Rajan Zed said, "Goddess Kali is highly revered in Hinduism and she is meant to be worshipped in temples and not to be used in clubs for publicity stunts or thrown around loosely for dramatic effects. Hindus welcome Hollywood and other entertainment industries to immerse themselves in Hinduism, but they should take it seriously and respectfully, and not just use the religion for decoration or to advance their selfish agenda. Casual flirting sometimes results in pillaging serious spiritual doctrines and revered symbols and hurting the devotees."

Ok, these Hindus should learn to lighten up a little. If anything they should be thanking Heidi. I mean, before this, who had even heard of Goddess Kali? (By the way, she is the goddess of time and change.)

SOURCE

The Batshit Report

Joaquin Phoenix recently stated that he is ending his acting career.

To let us all know that he wasn't kidding, at the LA premiere of his film Two Lovers, he wrote "Good Bye" across his knuckles.

When asked about his decision, Joaquin said,"I think it's just moving on. It's rediscovering something else. It's like greener pastures, you know what I mean? And so, I'm just going to try and like, I'll just be doing the other thing ... Hopefully, I will emotionally impact you with that, as well."

Ummmm, yeah ok Joaquin. Good luck with all that. Or is it "Luck Good"?

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