Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Asshat Idol: Top 4 - THE MOST AWESOME WEEK EVER!



I went into last night's episode fully prepared to be let down, because "Rock Week with special guest Slash" sounds way too good for reality to live up to the idea of it. Surprisingly, it did. And then some. The awesome was even awesomer and the suck was the most awesome of all!

I think we all know what I'm referring to, so let's just get right to it:





This is the kind of we've been waiting for! And it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person! Oh Gokey, I'm actually glad you stuck around this long because if you hadn't we'd never have this amazing piece of Idol history! Another plus? We finally learned how to make Paula sit down when she does that annoying dancing along all the time. The funniest part about it all is that Danny thought he was great--he did a fucking victory lap at the end and cheered his own awesomeness. And then once the judges told him how terrible he was, he refused to believe it and said he'd "have to watch it back." Well, he'll have no problem finding it on Youtube:





You know tonight Seacrest is going to ask him what he thought of it when he watched it back. He'll probably attempt some self-depreciating joke that will be so transparent that Scott MacIntyre will stand up in the audience and go
"Dude, even I can see through that bullshit." and then he'll say he thought the rest of the song wasn't that bad. And then he will get voted off and he'll have to sing it AGAIN!!! (I'm dreaming on here, I know Kris is toast, but it would rule.)

We have Slash to thank for this. He is totally responsible for this by psyching Gokey out about hitting that note. Slash knows how to use that reverse psychology for his amusement. Like when he used to tell Axl those blazer/bootyshort suits looked awesome and then he'd go laugh with Duff behind Axl's back.

Nearly eclipsing the fall of Gokey was the incredible pairing of Adam and Allison. Try to watch this just once, you can't. Seriously, it's THAT awesome:




The duet of Gokey and Kris- not so much.




Just watch Kris, he's adorable.


Allison killed:




Adam killed:



Kris got killed (by the judges):


Tonight - Slash performs! No Doubt performs! DAUGHTRY (the fuck?) performs! Paula Abdul (hopefully accompanied by an animated cat) performs! The top 4 performs! Then Kris or possibly Allison (NOOO!!) will get eliminated at 10:07 PM.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Ah-dam!! Ah-dam!!





So this past Wednesday, Idol producers tried to pull the old fakeout on us and make us think Adam was in the bottom 2 and risked going home. He wasn't. He didn't. Matt-in-the-Hat Girard did of course. And America was relieved. No one more so than little Baby Paisley:



Don't forget to vote next week Paisley! It's been confirmed - next week is motherfucking Rock week with special guest mentor:


Hell to the yeah! I wonder if they'll let him smoke. They don't even let Simon smoke indoors!

It has also been revealed that next week the contestants will have two performances - one solo and one duet with another contestant.

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