Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle will save American Idol!

Well, maybe not since there's no way in hell he's going to make the top 12, but he did save last night's episode from being a complete snoozefest like all the other audition shows this year were.

In case you missed it

For the love of Grayskull!

The latest 80's cartoon most likely to be ruined by making it into a live-action movie is..... He-Man!!!

Warner Bros has teamed up with filmmaker Joel Silver and director John Stevenson to make a new Masters of the Universe film. No one has been cast yet.

Those of us over the age of 30 may remember that there already was a He-Man movie back in 1987 with Dolph Lungren as He-Man and Oscar nominee Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon) as Skeletor:


No word on whether Marc Anthony has signed on for the role this time around (I know, sorry. Cue collective groan).

Hey, I wonder what my She-Ra doll thinks of this.

"They better not have the fat bitch Jessica Simpson play me or somebody's gettin' cut!"

SOURCE

Um..What is Heidi holding??

If you didn't say "towel", you have a very sick mind!

The Mom Jeans Hall of Shame

Jessica Simpson's been getting a lot of flack for her weight gain and many believe the culprit is the godawful Mom Jeans she wore to that chili cookoff (BTW If I were the winner of that chili cookoff, I'd be so pissed right now that no one's even talking about me!!)

Now of course Jess has packed on a few as evidenced here by another poor, poor style choice (can somebody please call Stacy and Clinton already??):

But even there, she doesn't look quite as large as she did in those wretched jeans.

No one, I repeat NO ONE, looks good in those things:

Here's Kim KardASShian, who came to Jess's defense and said that she looked "hot" , probably because she thinks she also looks hot in her same exact pair.

Here's Scarlett Johanson wearing nearly the same outfit as Jessica.

Of course, fellow size 2, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Mischa Barton looks like shit in them too!

JUST SAY NO TO MOM JEANS!

Mickey out of Wrestlemania (for now)

Mickey Rourke's spokeswoman Paula Woods announced yesterday that Rourke will not wrestle WWE superstar Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania 25 as previously announced.

Woods wrote in an email: "Mickey was very honoured to be asked as he has the greatest respect for WWE however he will not be participating in Wrestlemania. He is focusing entirely on his acting career."

Sounds like someone's fearing a Norbit-like reaction from the voting Academy to Mickey's appearance at at the event.

Seems they forgot to tell Chris Jericho though, who appeared with Mickey on Larry King Live in-character taunting him for their match.



Of course, this could all be a huge work and Mickey may appear at Wrestlemania after all---once the voting for the Oscars has closed. Who knows? I just want to see him win the Oscar.

Poor Jericho, a lot of non-wrestling fans will probably think he was for real and that he's really that much of an asshole.


Also backpedaling, and may I say rather harshly, is Evan Rachel Wood, who denied that she made out with Mickey after the SAG awards.

Evan told Rolling Stone: "I'm upset because I feel disrespected by the press and by Mr. Rourke. Just because I'm single doesn't mean that you can take advantage of me. It's unfair that the performances might suffer because of all of these distractions."

Just so everyone was clear, Evan added, "I'm not attracted to him, he's too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will."

OUCH! Low blow!


Hey Evan, you do realize people believe that rumor mostly because you dated Marilyn Manson, right? And how old was he again??

SOURCE


UPDATE 1/30 - Vince McMahon has issued a statement to E! Online saying that Rourke will appear at Wrestlemania: "I am pleased that Mickey Rourke will be in attendance at WrestleMania to support the WWE Superstars who support him and the film in which he stars, The Wrestler. "
SOURCE

Now, a message from our sponsor

Many of us are having a snow day today due to the winter storm that's wreaking havoc on the Northeast(I always wanted to use the term "wreaking havoc!"). You know what that means! Getting some household tasks done and other productive things? Hell no! It means hanging out in your pajamas, drinking Baileys hot chocolates, and watching trash tv!

While doing so I've noticed some truly awesomely awful commercials they play during the day.

My personal favorite is for a product called RePHresh (Get it? it's like "refresh"?). For when your vagina feels really stinky, even after douching. It looks like one of those fake Saturday Night Live commercials but apparently it's for real.



The best part is at :12. That lady rules. She's like "Can you smell what my vagina is cookin'?" Then they all do the fresh vagina dance.

Speaking of dancing, if you want to learn how to dance like a ho, there's Flirty Girl Fitness!



Check out one happy Flirty Girl Fitness customer! It really works!!:





We can't talk about awesome commercials and not mention SHAM WOW!



SHAM WOW's especially come in handy when you have an accidental spill in your home meth lab!! Vince can attest to that!


Finally we have the Bissell vacuum cleaner commercial starring the amazing Mr. Jiggles:



I truly believe that that black and white dog framed Mr. Jiggles. Go back and look at the way he's smirking at Mr.Jiggles while the lady yells. That dog better watch out for Mr. Jiggles will have his vengeance!

LEAVE JESSICA ALONE! SHE'S A SIZE 2 DAMMIT!

Ashlee Simpson has posted a reaction on her blog to the recent critism of her sister's weight gain since photos of Jessica performing at a chili cookoff in horribly unflattering mom jeans last Sunday surfaced online.

Ashlee wrote:

"I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.

Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?

I seriously doubt it.

How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?

Now can we focus on the things that really matter."

Wait a minute... I'm all for Ashlee sticking up for her sister and all but did she just say that Jessica's a size TWO? Nobody believed it when Jennifer Love Hewitt said it and nobody's believing it now either! I guess there is a different standard for celebrities, since they all say they are a size two when they aren't.

Ok, listen. By insisting that you are a size two when you are clearly not totally negates the point you are trying to make about being accepted for the size you are! Why is this so hard for these morons to get?

And you know Ashlee is secretly loving this after all those years of being Jess's less famous, less pretty sister. (You're all thinking it, I just said it!)

John Mayer is no Stuart Smalley

.. or as funny as he thinks he is. He is an attention whore though.

In a homemade video he posted on YouTube yesterday, John plays some kind of motivational speaker. It's a like a bad SNL skit, but maybe a tiny bit funnier (which really isn't saying much). So people are making a big deal about it because he mentions "The Curious Case of Benjamin Bratt" starring you know whose ex. Could be, but seems like more of a dig at Benjamin Bratt because everyone assumes he's calling Brad a brat, and forgetting that there's actually a guy named Benjamin Bratt.

I did like when he quoted that song from The Karate Kid though.

You disappoint me Mickey

Of all the big award season movies, my favorite has been The Wrestler. (See it, now!) Everyone knows the story by now: big wrestling star from the 80's-- twenty years later: broken down body, broken family, and just plain broke. It was a very real and beautifully tragic character-driven film and Mickey Rourke was absolute perfection in the role.

Part of what made the movie so great was the way it showed how the (without actually naming names) wrestling industry chews up and spits out it's "products." How for every Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin, there's dozens of "Randy's": addicted to painkilers, wrestling at the local high school, and bagging groceries for minimum wage.

So of course, when WWE chairman Vince McMahon first heard about the film, he requested a private screening. Director Darren Aronofsky never revealed what Vince exactly said, but a source close to McMahon was quoted as saying "the word 'negative' isn't strong enough to describe Vince's reaction. [This is] no surprise because Vince's vision of the 2008 image of wrestling and even fading stars directly contradicts what The Wrestler accurately portrays." SOURCE

Since then, the film has received tons of critical acclaim and Mickey won a Golden Globe and has been nominated for an Oscar.

And it seems Vince has now changed his tune. He recently publicly praised the movie and there is even a feature about it on the WWE website where past and present wrestlers talk about the film. Well you know what he likes to say, "It's all about the mon-ey." As well as publicity.

Now he's even managed to get Mickey Rourke to sign on to appear at this year's Wrestlemania in a feud with Chris Jericho. Mickey hinted at it at the SAG Awards last Sunday and last night Chris cut a promo against Mickey on "RAW":



The whole thing troubles me. And I'm a wrestling fan! It's just weird. It would be like Kate Winslet publicly endorsing illiteracy and Nazi's.

I can't fault Mickey too much though. He's riding a huge career high and he knows how those things go up and down so he's taking everything that's coming his way lately (including the Iron Man sequel), but I don't know, it just doesn't seem right.

Another thing that just doesn't seem right? He's reportedly messing around with Evan Rachel Wood. Now again, you can't fault the dude too much. This is another example of things coming his way that wouldn't usually (and she does likes the freaks, you know). But she plays his freaking DAUGHTER and it's gonna kind of ruin that whole awesome scene for me a little bit now.

Not to mention, what is The Academy going to think of all this stuff? Sean Penn better start writing his speech.



In related news, Meryl Streep was recently spotted making out with the kid from Doubt and will face Beth Phoenix at Wrestlemania 25.

"I'll show you who the real Glamazon is!"

Look everybody!! Britney's controversial again!

So there is a big hoopla of Britney's new song called "If You Seek Amy." The controversy is over the way Britney pulls some Miss Susie Had A Steamboat type shit with the line "if you seek amy." See, it sounds like something else when she sings it really fast.

Sound it out.

Get it?

Ok, it sounds like "F-U-C-K-me" (Insert sigh, eyeroll and "oh Britney" here)

So now that radio stations are threatening to ban the song, Britney has released a censored version where the word "seek" is changed to "see"--which makes the line “All the boys and the girls are begging to If You See Amy" sound even stupider.


SOURCE

Oscar nominations

The nominations for the Oscars were announced this morning. Pretty predictable, though there were a few surprises.

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Richard Jenkins -THE VISITOR
Frank Langella-FROST/NIXON
Sean Penn - MILK
Brad Pitt - THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Mickey Rourke - THE WRESTLER

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Josh Brolin- MILK
Robert Downey Jr. - TROPIC THUNDER
Philip Seymour Hoffman - DOUBT
Heath Ledger - THE DARK KNIGHT
Michael Shannon - REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Anne Hathaway - RACHEL GETTING MARRIED
Angelina Jolie - CHANGELING
Melissa Leo - FROZEN RIVER
Meryl Streep - DOUBT
Kate Winslet - THE READER

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams -DOUBT
Penélope Cruz - VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
Viola Davis - DOUBT
Taraji P. Henson - THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Marisa Tomei - THE WRESTLER

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
BOLT
KUNG FU PANDA
WALL-E

Achievement in Art Direction
CHANGELING
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DARK KNIGHT
THE DUCHESS
REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

Achievement in Cinematography
CHANGELING
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DARK KNIGHT
THE READER
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Achievement in Costume Design
AUSTRALIA
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DUCHESS
MILK
REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

Achievement in Directing
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
FROST/NIXON
MILK
THE READER
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Best Documentary Feature
THE BETRAYAL (NERAKHOON)
ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD
THE GARDEN
MAN ON WIRE
TROUBLE THE WATER

Achievement in Film Editing
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DARK KNIGH T
FROST/NIXON
MILK
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
The Baader Meinhof Complex
The Class
Departures
Revanche
Waltz With Bashir

Achievement in Makeup
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
THE DARK KNIGHT
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures (Original Score)
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
DEFIANCE
MILK
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
WALL-E

Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures (Original Song)
WALL-E"Down to Earth"
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE"Jai Ho"
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE"O Saya"

Best Motion Picture of the Year
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
FROST/NIXON
MILK
THE READER
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

COMPLETE LIST

Ok, first of all,

And secondly, WHY THE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN SNUB? Are you fucking kidding me?

Thank you for being a friend

So check out this ensemble that St. Angelina recently wore to the premiere of The Long and Curious Case of Benjamin Button in Germany:




Hey Angie,

Dorothy Zbornak is not pleased and will cut you!

And then a hero comes along....

Sit down Tom Cruise, Amy Winehouse is today's hero!!

While on her vacation in St. Lucia, Amy noticed a woman thrown overboard after a sailing lesson gone awry.

39-year-old Louise Williams told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "I was bowled over by her kindness. She went out of her way to help. A six-foot wave caught the boat and I went flying and hit a rock. Amy was on the beach 20 metres away and she ran across immediately and said, 'Let's have a look at you.' She picked me up and took me across to the showers and was constantly asking, 'Are you all right?' Amy then helped Louise wash her cuts and wrapped her in dry towels.

Amy commented on the incident: "I thought she was going to die."

Ok, so Amy basically dried the girl off but hey, that's something.

Go Amy!!

SOURCE

Still not buyin it

Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez used their appearance at the Inauguration's Western Ball to once again deny that their marriage is in the shitter.

Marc brought Jennifer up on stage to perform a duet with him, introducing her as "my wife." After their performance, they kissed and Marc commented "Man, she's cute" as Jen left the stage.

SOURCE

WTF...

you talkin' bout bitch?

A woman and her son wait for the bus

Someone is darning a hole in a uniform

Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice

This is Yale professor Elizabeth Alexander's inaugural poem for Barack Obama.

My thoughts are pretty much the same as the kid standing next to Michelle. "HUH?"

You know everyone's gonna be all "that was so inspiring and moving" because they want to sound smart, but she could have switched over to "Green Eggs and Ham" and I don't think many people would have have known the difference.

President Obama

Yesterday was a historic day. Congrats and good luck Obama (you've got a hell of a job in front of you!)!

Asshat of the Week

Hey Seacrest, he's BLIND you dumbass!!!!



You know this is going to turn into a running gag. I can't wait for the finale show when Ryan pulls this with special guest Stevie Wonder. You heard it here first!

Ryan's working on an entire blooper reel.



I haven't seen a kiss this awkward since Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie at the MTV awards. (Perfect music!)

Congrats Mickey!!

I know I'm a day late to the party, but I just had to post Mickey Rourke's awesome acceptance speech for his (much deserved) Golden Globe for Best Actor. (This is the East Coast one with director Darren Aronofsky flipping Mickey off. Oohh, a middle finger!!) Best moment of the night (Kate Winslet referring to Angelina Jolie as "the other one" is a close second.)



I don't know how he did it, but Mickey stole my speech. I always planned to thank Axl and my dogs if I ever won an award.

Seriously though, everyone HAS to see this movie, even if you're not a rasselin' fan. I'm sorry I'm fantarding , but there is a reason for all the hype. He's THAT good. (So good, that you forget that Marissa Tomei is amazing as well.) You will never forget the character of Randy the Ram.

Plus, the soundtrack to the story rocks (including Bruce Springsteen's perfectly devastating theme) and the movie includes perhaps the best scripted conversation about music since the "Like a Virgin" debate in Reservoir Dogs.

See it, don't waste your money on that Gran Torino shit (now playing the role of Archie Bunker: Dirty Harry!)

Full list of winners and nominees

Support the Blackout Drunk!

One of the best reality shows that nobody watched ended (hopefully only its first season) recently. That show was called Redemption Song and it featured eleven bitches who overcame tough times to give their singing careers a final shot (hence the name of the show) and win a contract with Geffen records. Sort of a low (very low) budget American Idol meets Rock of Love (without the washed-up douche in a wig). The problem with this show was that it aired on the Fuse network so hardly anybody knew about it (I stumbled on it one day while channel surfing). Which is too bad because had it been on VH1, MTV, or Bravo, it would have been a huge hit.

How could it not? The show had awesome challenges like making the contestants perform drunk or run up twenty flights of stairs, get all winded, and then perform a dance routine to Cold-Hearted Snake by Paula Abdul. I'm not joking. One time, they had to write and perform a rap where they called the other girls "hoes". Even cooler was the elimination process, when host Chris Jericho (WWE) would break their record (literally--each girl had an old-school 33RPM vinyl record and he would break them in half and say "You've been dropped from the label". To add injury to insult, sometimes the pieces of the record would fly out and hit the poor girl! ) Of course there also were a lot of awesome catfights, often involving food. But the best part was the captions they'd put under the girls' names during their confessionals, each one explaining their reason for redemption. Some examples included "Ran an escort service, "Former child star turned drug dealer," "Blackout drunk," and my favorite, "Once threw a girl through a window." Seriously, y'all missed a really awesome show.

In the end it came down to Angelica Rose and Mixi, aka "Former child star turned drug dealer" and "Blackout Drunk." Angelica had the better voice, but was really unlikable and committed the number one entertainment business no-no: Using the "N" word (she didn't call anyone it, but used it nonetheless. She then spent the rest of the series denying that she was racist.) Mixi on the other hand (she's the one with the Muppet on her head), wasn't the strongest singer, but was "the best performer" (aka -the most marketable) and won the contract.

They never actually explained the terms of the contract or what the winner received other than, you know, the contract, but Geffen apparently coughed up enough for Mixi to a real song and release a real video. And you know what? It's pretty damn catchy. A little Amy Winehouse, a little Gwen Stefani, a little Veruca Salt (whatever happened to them?) And they fixed her hair too! But I guess promotion wasn't included the mysterious contract, because other than Fuse (which, again: nobody watches) I haven't seen one thing advertising it. So here's my part, not that a whole lot of people read this blog, but hey, probably more than watched Redemption Song (yeah I'm counting on one hand)

Here's Mixi's song "I Miss Those Days":

Hi! We're only pretending to care!

The awards season was kicked off last night with the People's Choice Awards on CBS. You know, the one where the public votes on the awards and the winners lie and say "This award means the most to me out of all them because it's voted on by you, the fans!" when it really means absolutely nothing to them because they think the public is a bunch of morons. Though, judging by some of these choices (not to mention categories), I can't blame them for thinking that.

Here are the winners:

FAVORITE MOVIE
* The Dark Knight

FAVORITE FAMILY MOVIE
* WALL-E

FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE
* The Dark Knight

FAVORITE MOVIE COMEDY
* 27 Dresses

FAVORITE MOVIE DRAMA
* The Secret Life of Bees

FAVORITE INDEPENDENT MOVIE
* The Secret Life of Bees

FAVORITE CAST
* The Dark Knight

FAVORITE MALE MOVIE STAR
* Will Smith

FAVORITE LEADING MAN (How is this different from Favorite Male Movie Star?)
* Brad Pitt

FAVORITE MALE ACTION STAR
* Will Smith

FAVORITE FEMALE MOVIE STAR
* Reese Witherspoon

FAVORITE LEADING LADY (how is this different.......?)
* Kate Hudson

FAVORITE FEMALE ACTION STAR
* Angelina Jolie

FAVORITE ON-SCREEN MATCH-UP
* Christian Bale & Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

FAVORITE SUPERHERO
* Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman

TELEVISION:

FAVORITE TV DRAMA
* House

FAVORITE TV COMEDY
* Two and a Half Men

FAVORITE ANIMATED COMEDY
* The Simpsons

FAVORITE SCI-FI / FANTASY SHOW
* Heroes

FAVORITE COMPETITION / REALITY SHOW
* Dancing with the Stars

FAVORITE GAME SHOW
* Deal Or No Deal

FAVORITE MALE TV STAR
* Hugh Laurie

FAVORITE FEMALE TV STAR
* Christina Applegate

FAVORITE TALK SHOW HOST
* Ellen DeGeneres

FAVORITE SCENE-STEALING GUEST STAR
* Robin Williams on Law & Order: SVU

FAVORITE TV DRAMA DIVA
* Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson on The Closer

FAVORITE NEW TV DRAMA
* The Mentalist

FAVORITE NEW TV COMEDY
* Gary Unmarried

MUSIC:

FAVORITE MALE SINGER
* Chris Brown

FAVORITE FEMALE SINGER
* Carrie Underwood

FAVORITE GROUP
* Rascal Flatts

FAVORITE R&B SONG
* No One by Alicia Keys

FAVORITE POP SONG
* I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry

FAVORITE ROCK SONG
* All Summer Long by Kid Rock

FAVORITE COUNTRY SONG
* Last Name by Carrie Underwood

FAVORITE HIP-HOP SONG
* Low by Flo Rida featuring T-Pain

FAVORITE COMBINED FORCES
* No Air by Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown

FAVORITE SONG FROM A SOUNDTRACK
* Mamma Mia - Meryl Streep from Mamma Mia!

FAVORITE FUNNY MALE STAR
* Adam Sandler

FAVORITE FUNNY FEMALE STAR
* Tina Fey

FAVORITE STAR 35 & UNDER
* Carrie Underwood

SOURCE

Time to play : How old is Lindsay Lohan?

A) 22

B) 32

C) 42

D) That's Lindsay Lohan? I thought that was a dude!

Sorry John, Barbara called

TMZ reports that Tom Cruise is not attending his "friend" John Travolta's son's funeral today in Florida because he is in New York City taping an appearance on "The View."

Wow, for two people that are supposed to be friends, that's pretty unforgivable.

Even more unforgivable? Stalking someone's child's funeral like it's a goddamn movie premiere. Yeah, you TMZ!

Donna Martin will save 90210!

Guess what? Donna Martin is finally going to come back to 90210!! Tori Spelling is reportedly very, very close to finalizing the deal to guest star on the new series!! How close? As close as Kelly's bare ass was to the dirt in the woods when that asshole senior didn't bring a blanket!!

I can't wait to see Donna Martin again!! I wonder if she's still married to David as well as a top fashion designer! Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll get into some wacky and zany hijincks like she used to.

Let's celebrate Donna's return with some of her greatest moments!









SOURCE

Because they think we are dumbasses

J-Lo and Marc Anthony attempted some damage control by taking a "romantic getaway" to Puerto Rico over the holidays.

Their reps have told PEOPLE, that despite all the rumors (and both publicly seen not wearing their wedding rings) that they doing "great."

Divorce announcement in 3.......2.........

Catching up

Sorry, sorry!! I know I have a habit of taking a few days between posts.

So let's get caught up on what's gone down so far in 2009:

Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell had twins and named them Dolly and Charlie, neither of which are sheep nor male.


I'm sure everyone has heard the sad news about the passing of 16 year-old Jett Travolta. The death was determined to be the result of a seizure.
SOURCE


In happier news, Alyssa Milano has announced that she is engaged to agent David Bugliari.
SOURCE

BUT,

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her fiance Ross McCall have split up.
SOURCE


Another rumored-to-be troubled couple, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had a second daughter yesterday, but have not yet released the name.
SOURCE


We finally got to see the Rock of Love Sharon Osborne/"model" (HA!)Megan catfight:

Staged or is Rodeo psychic (for knowing to wear waterproof pants)? You be the judge.

Something that I just realized:

The Snuggie is a just a freakin' backwards bathrobe!


P.S. - If you are an idiot and still want to order this, don't accidentally type in snuggLewraps.com , cause it's really creepy!