Great Moments in Axl History: #24 & 23

#24: Axl's BFF

Then and now

Axl and Sebastian "SAVAGE ANIMAL" Bach go back a long time. But in 2006, the two seemed to become inseparable.

It started with Sebastian popping up at Guns N' Roses' pre-tour shows in New York's Hammerstein Ballroom to duet with Axl. Soon after, the two were spotted everywhere together. They also worked together - Axl recorded on a couple of Sebastian's songs on his Angel Down album, and he let Sebastian in on the recordings for Chinese Democracy. Baz has said he sings on a song called "Sorry." Later that year, Sebastian opened for GN'R on their tour. And if that's not enough, Sebastian even got to pick up Axl's dry cleaning a few times!!

In all seriousness, Baz has been great for Axl. He really seemed to be able to get Axl to come out of his shell and lighten up. He's kind of like Jessica Tandy's character was to Kathy Bates's in Fried Green Tomatoes, but instead of "TOWANDA!!!" you yell "SAVAGE ANIMAL!" (See Kathy Bates was all depressed and shit....nevermind, no idea where that came from.) Anyway, here's a fun example I found of Sebastian and Axl playing with their lightsabers (get your mind out of the gutter!) and signing autographs after one of the Hammerstein shows.



Here's Baz talking about all the fun they had touring together:

"I spent a better part of a year on the road with him getting fucking crazy! Axl is like a one-man LED Zeppelin. You wanna talk about partying 'til 2PM the next afternoon and showing people how it's done! This motherfucker is like Jack Nicholson on the microphone. I don't even know what the fuck that means! We had Avenged Sevenfold out with us and they're a great band. We were in Europe. We'd do a show at the arena and Axl would go on around midnight. Then he'd go and rent out a club starting at like 5AM every fucking day! I don't know how he found those places! I was like, 'Where the fuck are we going to go at 5AM in Prague, Czechoslovakia?' Sure enough, he gets a club as the sun is coming up and our buses roll in. We stumble up these stairs as the sun is shining in and he says, 'Time to start the party!' I can't even begin to describe that tour."

(Can't you just picture him talking all fast and hyper and cracking himself up? It's like with a male dog, just gotta let him finish.)

It's even rumored that Sebastian may have had a part in convincing Axl to finally release Chinese Democracy! Go Baz!

Here's Bazaxl performing together.

So cute, they just can't quit each other!


#23: The Greatest Video of All Time


This one needs no explanation (even though it does star the evil Stephanie Seymour):



To learn more about the story, read this.


THIS HAS BEEN GREAT MOMENTS IN AXL HISTORY

Who looks like a bigger asshat?

Mariah:


or Kim?:

Hey, remember David Cook??

Of course you do, he is the most awesome person of all time you know!

He's going to be on Saturday Night Live tomorrow night! Unfortunately he's only the musical guest (Ben "remember him?" Affleck is hosting.), which is too bad because he was great on Best Week Ever that time. Hopefully they'll put him in a skit too. Something where he gets to talk about magic rainbows!

What's the deal with Madonna and A-Rod?

So Madonna and Alex Rodriguez took separate helicopters to the Hamptons and went to Jerry Seinfeld's place and yada yada yada.

According to a source in the Hamptons: “A-Rod arrived at the airport by helicopter and was whisked away in one of Seinfeld’s Porsches. Madonna arrived less than an hour later by helicopter and left with Seinfeld in another car."

The source added: “It is believed they all went to Seinfeld’s mansion for a discreet party for a few hours, before they all left separately.”

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Well, anymore.

SOURCE

Asshat of the Week

I haven't done an Asshat of the Week in quite some time, however this fuckhead father sure makes up for all the ones I missed.




Someone call child services. Hell, call Britney. Anyone's better than this piece of shit father.

Happy Halloween......baby!

It's just not Halloween until I hear "She likes the dar-----K!"

Great Moments in Axl History: #25

#25: Axl vs. James Hetfield

It seemed like good idea. The two biggest rock bands of the time double-headlining a tour of stadiums in the summer of '92. What could possibly go wrong?

Surprisingly, not so much, as the Guns N' Roses/Metallica tour started off pretty well and with no major problems.

But then came August 8th in Montreal.

During the beginning of their song "Fade to Black," which is about wanting to die, Metallica's lead singer James Hetfield nearly did after he walked too close to a pyrotechnic flash and suffered second and third degree burns. Because he is not Axl Rose, Metallica's set was cut short and James was taken to the hospital. Pussy!

This meant that GN'R who were up next after Metallica, would have to take the stage earlier than planned to keep everything moving along, right?

Wrong. Duh! Everyone knows that the energy needs to be just right, and sometimes you just have to wait. (It's like Heinz, deal with it!) Well, everyone except for those damn Canadians at the show that night, who began to become impatient. The nerve!

Guns N' Roses finally took the stage, but about an hour into their set, Axl ended the show due to throat problems and monitor issues. Those are very, very, serious things dammit! All hopped up on too many Labats and already pissed off about getting gypped out of one band's full show, the crazy Canadians rioted.

Here's Tabitha Soren to tell us all about it (Is anyone else having deja vu watching these old MTV clips?) Oh and if you have an alcoholic beverage, take a swig every time Lars Ulrich tosses his hair back:


You can almost see Axl off-camera yelling to Slash "The monitors!! Talk about the monitors some more!"

After that incident, things got even worse between Axl and James, St. Anger kind of worse, and the two sparred back and forth ranting about each other to their audiences.

Tabitha?



As with many of Axl's feuds, it never resulted in an actual physical fight. (James was a little cowardly.) It is rumored that Metallica's song "King Nothing" is about Axl.

The two really should make up as many years have passed and they now have a lot in common. Both had/have new albums coming out this year and both have issues with illegal downloading.

THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT MOMENT IN AXL HISTORY

Oh and speaking of the crazy Canucks, check out this commercial which aired on Canadian television last night:

Dina: EVERYTHING'S FINE!!!

Dina Lohan attempted some damage control on the rumors that Lindsay's guest stint on Ugly Betty was cut short from six episodes to four because of Lindsay's behavior and disrespectful actions.

On Lindsay's alleged dispute with America Ferrara: "It was just silly. America's a doll."

On Lindsay bringing a large group of friends on set and trashing her dressing room: "And they said [Lindsay] brought a posse. It was my mother and myself, and Ali. It was not a posse. We had sushi and no one trashed the room."

On why the episode arc was cut to four episodes: "She had fun on Ugly Betty. "It was long hours and when you're on a movie set it's a lot different. She's not used to television, but it was fun."

On Samantha Ronson: "We've known the family for years, so it's great. Sam is so tough and smart. "She's a sweetheart."

Ok, let's activate the Asshat Hollywood Bullshit Translator:

TRANSLATION: "Please, movie and television producers, please buy this load of crap and hire my daughter. I have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Lindsay is my only hope. God knows, I've tried with the other one, but she's useless. Hey, how about a reality show about Lindsay and Sam's alternative relationship? I'm accepting of it you know, not like her father. I even said Sam's lovely, see?"

SOURCE

Great Moments in Axl History: #26

#26 The one time we'd actually understand, the show goes on (aka: Axl's Stigmata)

When you go to a Guns N' Roses show, you go sort of half expecting something's going to happen and it will get cut short. You don't want to, but you can't help it. (see #32 Thou Shalt Not Piss Off Axl). So for fans in Dayton Ohio, January 14, 1992's show seemed like one of those nights when only four songs into the show, Axl sliced his hand open on the microphone stand.

Everyone stopped.

Everyone held their breath.

Everyone waited for him to run off the stage (which would have been perfectly acceptable this time).

But.....

Amazingly, Axl kept on keeping on. He wrapped a towel around his mangled hand and finished the show without missing a note! He got stitched up later that evening and had surgery the following day. Our leader sure is full of surprises sometimes.

Don't believe it? Here's videographic proof and Kurt Loder does NOT lie:



Ironically, he wisely chose to wear the red booty suit that night.


THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT MOMENT IN AXL HISTORY

Those aren't police costumes?

Police raided Kate Hudson's Halloween party at 1am last Sunday morning.

Everything was ok once they realized that wasn't really Amy Winehouse!

The cops ordered the guests to keep the noise down and the party inside the house.

Kate was dressed as a 1960's flight attendant. Other guests included Courtney Cox, as a witch, husband David Arquette as a warlock:

Not sure what Kyle McLaughlin was supposed to be. Mystery maybe?

Toby McGuire as either Aston Kutcher circa 2002 or Kevin Federline.

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher. I expected more from Sacha.

Winona Ryder (not pictured) attended as a mouse, but left as a baglady. And according to a source, Gerard Butler apparently went as a manho: "All the girls at the party were lining up to talk to Gerard. He left with two very sexy vampires."

SOURCE
PHOTOS

This I have to see

When asked by Britain's Channel 4 what she was going to be for Halloween, Burlesque star Dita Von Teese responded: "For Halloween, I'm going to look like a normal girl, put some bronzer on, some spray tan on and wear some jeans. People will ask me where my costume is! I would never do this in normal life, that's why I'll do it at Halloween. It's a bit funny and people think I'm not wearing a costume but I really am."

Also planning on being a "normal girl" this year? Britney Spears.


SOURCE

More asshats in Halloween costumes!

Tori Spelling and family as bees.

Gwen Stefani as an egg. (This is what happens when you wait until the last minute to buy your costume at the party store!)

The Jonas Brothers as overpaid douchey virgins.

Reese and Jake as a couple.

Winehouse sighting!!

Oops, false alarm!

It's just Cindy Crawford at a Halloween party! Extra points for the big white spot under her nose! Great touch!

SOURCE

Great Moments in Axl History: #'s 29 - 27

#29 Axl and Buckethead (aka: The Chicken Coop)

While looking for replacement members for his new version of "Guns N' Roses", Axl Rose figured it would be a good idea not only to get a renowned virtuoso to be his new guitarist, but also someone that people would refer to as 'the crazy one" whenever in a room with Axl.

That person (or something) came in the form of Buckethead. For those that don't know, Buckethead is called that because he wears a KFC bucket.....wait for it..... on his head!! He also wears a Michael Meyers (the horror movie killer, not the guy that played Austin Powers) mask, and is also known to communicate through a hand puppet.

During the ill-fated 2002 Guns N' Roses tour, Buckethead's awesome solos involved a rousing nunchuck routine, the robot, playing the Star Wars theme, then wrapping it all up by giving out toys to the audience members.


Soon though, Buckethead grew tired of the canceled shows and delays with the album (maybe he wasn't so crazy after all!) and decided he wanted out of Guns N' Roses. Axl was not happy about this and tried everything to convince Buckethead to stay in the band. In a rare-display of ass-kissing, Axl accommodated Bucket's every request, which included taking him to Disneyland and having a chicken coop built in the studio. One time, one of Axl's wolfpups got into the coop and took a shit. Since no one else was allowed in the coop, no one cleaned it. Buckethead said he liked the smell and refused to get rid of the shit, resulting in the studio smelling for days. (There was also a rumor that Buckethead had actual chickens in the coop and one of the wolfpups ate them.) Then Buckethead wanted a tv system in the coop so he would be able to watch hard-core porn while he recorded, which was agreed to also until one day Axl saw the crazyass shit he was watching and became offended and said he didn't want it messing with the "creative spirit" of the record (yes, this from a guy who you can actually hear having sex on one of his songs!)

Buckethead eventually flew the coop for good in 2004. Axl's team released the following statement:

During his tenure with the band, Buckethead has been inconsistent and erratic in both his behavior and his commitment, despite being under contract, creating uncertainty and confusion and making it virtually impossible to move forward with recording, rehearsals, and live plans with confidence. His transient lifestyle has made it near impossible for even his closest friends to have nearly any form of communications with him whatsoever.

Hmm, pot, kettle, bucket?

Axl has since hired a guitarist named Bumblefoot. It is rumored that VH1 has contacted Axl and let him know that if Bumblefoot ever leaves, they'd be willing to give him a reality show where all the contestants have really stupid nicknames.


#28 Axl's first basketball game (aka: Who the hell is that? )

Ok, this one weirded me the hell out and I had to watch it several times to make sure it was for real. It's a rare interview of Axl (?) at a Lakers game in 2001, the first time he resurfaced (no pun intended) in public in many years.

It's very bizarre for many reasons. First the obvious: the interviewer asks us "Do you know who this is?" And everyone's like "No, should we?" Then he tells us it's Axl Rose. Actually the caption says "Axel Rose," but someone in the control room fixes that shit quick. It sounds like him and the tattoos are there, but what? And the behavior, he's all nice and shit. Then in a bizarre moment, there's some foreshadowing when Axl is asked about "Philly fans." It's seriously some whacked out shit. Watch with caution, especially any of you out there that have weird dreams.


On a positive note, we finally have an answer to the age old question of which came first: the surgery or the braids?


#27 Axl Will Rock Them Shorts

Ok, after that last one I think we can all agree that we are in dire need of some tighty whities, yes? Hopefully they are bright enough to bleach out that last image. So here's Axl performing We Will Rock You with Queen at the legendary Freddie Mercury Tribute show in 1992 at Wembley Stadium:





THIS HAS BEEN GREAT MOMENTS IN AXL HISTORY

El Stupido

'80's pop star El DeBarge, real name Patrick Eldra DeBarge, was arrested and locked up for possession of a controlled substance. He was picked up on two warrants earlier this month.

We take you now live to his court appearance:



Controlled substance my ass!! Johnny Five is alive!

SOURCE

Hey Larry, Flavor Flav wants his hat back!

The sad part is, Larry King actually believes he is piloting a Viking ship and that his name is Captain Óleifr.

But just let him think that, he's in his happy place and dinner isn't until 4.

Very sad

I'm sure everyone's heard the sad news by now regarding the deaths of Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother, and now (most likely) nephew. The latest developments.

Awful, awful news.

Imagine having to identify your family members' bodies. Horrible!

Keep Jennifer and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

Robert Downey Jr. is saying:

A) "So seriously, how the hell did you keep a straight face while filming Swept Away?"

B) "Jude, seriously the 'stache? You look like...who's that guy on the Yankees with the moustache? Oh, shit, Yankees, sorry Guy!"

C) "I was so awesome in Ironman!!!"

BREAKING NEWS!

An Olsen twin smiles!

Great Moments in Axl History #30

#30: Axl the movie star (aka: Don't blink!)

In the 1988 Dirty Harry film, The Dead Pool, celebrities are killed off one by one (About time for a remake starring Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and Heidi and Spencer, don't you think?). One of these celebrities is a rock star named Johnny Squares:



You are not having an acid trip, that is in fact a very young Jim Carrey lipsynching to Welcome to the Jungle!

Johnny gets offed pretty early in the movie (thankfully after that awesome video!) and Axl and the rest of the original band play....a rock band!!...that come to Johnny's funeral to pay their respects. Seriously, don't blink:


Even though he doesn't have a lot of screen time, you really can tell that Axl really picked up a lot of acting skills during the filming of this movie, later evident in the funeral scene in the November Rain video.


Unfortunately for our leader, Slash got the coolest part :


Though GN'R's music has been used in many movies, this was Axl's first and only foray onto the big screen. (Contrary to popular belief, Axl did NOT play one of the Twins in The Matrix Reloaded:


)


THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT MOMENT IN AXL HISTORY

Damn you Britney!

I can't think of anything mean to say!

Beyonce joins the batshit club!

Beyonce has decided she would now like to be known as Sasha Fierce. (Her first pick for a name, Ferosha Coutura, was already taken.)

Sasha is an alter ego that Beyonce created for her stage persona. She explains: "Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I'm working and when I'm on the stage. I have someone else that takes over when it's time for me to work and when I'm on stage, this alter ego that I've created that kind of protects me and who I really am.""

She has even created a MySpace page for Sasha.

Ironically, an anagram for Sasha Fierce is "SHE IS A FARCE".

Hey Mariah, you're finally off the hook, there's a new crazy bitch in town!


SOURCE

Great Moments in Axl History: #31

#31 Axl vs. Jon Bon Jovi (aka: "Bon Jovi can suck my dick!")


You know how there's always that cool, dangerous, guy with a bad reputation who other guys secretly want to be but they'd never actually dare because they're too chickenshit to break the rules? Not to mention, "what would mom think?" This always seemed to be the case with Jon Bon Jovi and Axl Rose.

Both bands formed around the same time, but Bon Jovi struck it big first in 1986 with their breakthrough album Slippery When Wet. Jon soon became America's sweetheart with his bright Chicklet smile, perfectly coiffed mane, and mom-friendly pop-rock. Don't get me wrong, Bon Jovi did rock, but they rocked safely, never pissing anybody off, and always with a smile.

Enter Guns N' Roses: sleazy, dirty, drugged-up Los Angeles trash that almost seemed like they were trying to piss everybody off. And their leader (our leader) was the quintessential bad boy, the complete opposite of nice, cute, boring Jon. Who could ever mistake one for the other?

Someone apparently did one evening in 1987 at a Hyatt Regency Hotel. According to Axl, via onstage rant of course, "five guys in suits" who decided they were "scumbags" picked a fight with the band. One of the men grabbed Axl and referred to him as "Bon Jovi." This offended Axl, who, on the mistake commented to the crowd: "Bon Jovi can suck my dick." You can hear the whole thing here, skip to 4:24.

Jon didn't take Axl up on his offer nor have the two ever actually had a face-to-face altercation (not yet anyway), but Jon has taken a public swipe at Axl. In 2006 he told the NY Post:

"You know what pisses me off? I was reading this British rock magazine this month and there was a story about Axl Rose and the $13 million GUNS N' ROSES record that was never made. That motherfucker hasn't made a record in 13 years and he gets all that attention. You know what I've done in 13 years? A lot. But they have continued to write about the freak show aspect of him. Because he's a recluse. That makes him interesting, right?"

Hmmm, somebody sounds a weetle geelus!

Poor Jon, he'll always be the Brandon Walsh to Axl's Dylan Mckay, (sorry, I gotta stop with the 90210 references).


THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT MOMENT IN AXL HISTORY

You can do it Spencer!

After you're through with Heidi, just use your toe!



Speaking of Heidi, I am sorry to report that after only one year, her fashion line, “Heidiwood” for Anchor Blue is being discontinued.



This really sucks. I was planning to be an 80's hooker for Halloween this year. Where the hell am I gonna get my costume now?

Don't eat him Heigl!

Somebody call PETA!

Katie sings!

In case you missed it, here's Katie Holmes on Eli Stone last night.




Not bad! It looks like all those Chicago viewings paid off! Thanks Tom!

Michael Madsen -Stuck in the middle of a 5150

Mr. Blonde was taken away from his home by the L.A. Sheriff's deputies on Monday and was placed in the looney bin on a 5150 hold (Remember? 5150 is code for "batshit" that Britney made famous.)

It is reported that a family member called the police after becoming alarmed by Madsen's crazy behavior.

No word on whether that crazy behavior included cutting off that family member's body parts.

SOURCE

Guy got off easy!

A Kabbalah insider told TMZ today that the religion teaches,"If a couple has done the spiritual work to earn their soul mate and their current partner is not their soul mate, then universal law says they must split and only two choices remain: divorce or die."

That's some serious shit right there! The source also added that Kabbalah doesn't look down on divorce "because it creates an opening for the other to be with the one they are supposed to be with."

You know, this sounds a lot like that episode of 90210 where that dumbass Kelly got sucked into that cult and Professor Finley told her that Dylan, not Brandon, was her soulmate to try to get her to break up with Brandon because he was a "negator". But it turned out Professor Finley only said that because Dylan had more money.

In other news, A-Rod's contract is 275 million dollars.

Great Moments in Axl History #32

Before we get to our next moment, I'd like everyone to turn on their favorite rock station because Chinese Democracy makes it's radio debut today!!! So crack open a Dr. Pepper, crank it up, and rock out! (Well, you'll have to wait for about a minute first because of the intro.) You can hear the final version HERE.


#32 THOU SHALT NOT PISS OFF AXL (aka: The Stupid Fuckheads!)

Remember that Bruce Springsteen video where Bruce plucked a young Courtney Cox from the audience and brought her up on stage to dance badly with him? Ah yes, being pointed out of the crowd by your favorite singer during a concert is a great honor, EXCEPT if it is by W. Axl Rose. That is one time you do not want this to happen because usually it means you have done something that pissed him off. Examples of this type of behavior include throwing things (understandably), spitting (ok, that's understandable too), taking his picture (uhhhh), or giving him the stinkeye (with him on that one).

The good part about this is that you don't have to wonder if you've done something to piss him off because he'll let you know by doing one (or more) of the following things:


Throwing you out:


Taking your camera, bringing you up on stage to insult in front of everybody, then throwing you out:


Calling you a Stupid Fuckhead and threatening to go home:


Actually going home:


But Axl loves us so sometimes he will show forgiveness and give you a second chance if you promise not to throw shit or spit on them again. For some reason though, this usually only happens in countries other than the United States:



So in summary, just remember the most important commandment of all: "THOU SHALT NOT PISS OFF AXL" and everything will be fine..............Unless some other guy pisses him off, because you'll suffer for his sins too.


THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT MOMENT IN AXL HISTORY

The Republican National Committee is helping the economy doggonit!

Politco.com reported today that the Republican National Committee spent more than $150,000 on clothing, accessories, and beauty treatments for Sarah Palin since she was announced as John McCain's Vice-Presidental pick.

Financial disclosure statements documented the charges--all paid for by the RNC. They included:

$75,062.63 at a Minneapolis Neiman Marcus
$49,425.74 at Saks Fifth Avenues in St. Louis and New York
$4,716.49 for hair and makeup

Spokesperson Tracy Schmitt defended the spending saying,"With all of the important issues facing the country right now, it’s remarkable that we’re spending time talking about pantsuits and blouses. It was always the intent that the clothing go to a charitable purpose after the campaign."

That charitable purpose? The Foundation for Pissed off Republican Campaign Contributors.

In comparison, during Hillary Clinton's campaign, the Democratic National Committee saved money by buying white pantsuits from Sears and getting them dyed at Payless.

Willow and Wesley are having a baby!

Congrats to Alyson Hannigan and husband Alexis Denisof who announced today that they are expecting! The child is due in the spring.

This is one case of the Hollywood Baby Epidemic that actually doesn't bug me because they are both awesome.

SOURCE

I don't get it

Why didn't Britney just pay the damn $150?

Why couldn't the jury reach a decision?

Why are they spending taxpayers' money on this?

Why did this even go to trial in the first place?

Why is this news?

Why do I care?

SOURCE

Liar liar, Slutty pants on fire!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have always denied that they hooked up during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith since at the time Brad was still married to Jennifer Aniston.

In a recent interview in the New York Times however, Angelina finally confirmed what everyone already knew: that she's a homewrecker.

Angelina says that looks forward to showing the movie to her 65 children because "Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love."

Come on kids, let's watch Mommy and Daddy try to kill each other!

SOURCE

Madonna: 1, Guy: 0

(This is a photo of Madonna and Guy's son Rocco)

It's already gettin' messy!

SOURCE

Great Moments in Axl History: #33

#33 Axl vs. Kurt Cobain (also known as: Shut your bitch up or I'll knock her to the pavement)

Our leader has had many antagonists over the years, but his arch-nemesis came in the form of one Kurt Cobain. While the two men were similar in many ways: both troubled lead singers of bigger-than-life bands with a bit of the batshit going on, they were polar opposites in the respect that while Axl was loving the fame and fortune of rockstar life complete with extravagant parties, a huge stage show including a horn section, and a supermodel girlfriend (The Evil Stephanie Seymour!!), Kurt struggled with his newfound fame and preferred to be miserable (how else can you explain marrying and procreating with Courtney Love?). Of course, the two were bound to clash eventually.

Kurt initially pissed off Axl when he dissed him after Axl's request to meet him after a show. Then Nirvana turned down an offer to join the Guns N' Roses/Metallica stadium tour in the summer of 1992. Axl was not pleased.

Everything came to head later that year at (where else?) the MTV Video Music Awards (are you understanding why MTV sucks now?). Both Guns N' Roses and Nirvana were there to perform. There was a little downtime in the backstage lot where both singers were hanging out with their ladies, which of course is a recipe for awesomeness like this:

Courtney (to Axl): "Do you want to be godfather to our daughter?"

The Evil Stephanie Seymour (sweetly): "Are you a model?" (Do you see? She's evil! Ok, that was pretty awesome)

Courtney: "Are you a brain surgeon?" (oh snap!)

Axl (to Kurt): "Shut your bitch up or I'll knock her to the pavement."

And Scene.

(This account is according to an eyewitness )

Later that evening when Nirvana took the stage, bassist Krist Novoselic taunted Axl by yelling his name. He was later shut up by his bass.

This prompted telejournalist extraordinaire, Kurt Loder to comment on the night's events (another reason why MTV sucks now, no Kurt Loder!):



Kurt later asked (the other) Kurt to explain his version of events:



Sadly, nothing more ever came of the feud after that evening. Seems Loder was right about the incident blowing over. He was more right than even he knew at the time about stuff blowing over (if you took that as a Kurt blowing his head off joke, that's your own sick mind at work).

We now leave you with a musical adaptation of the aforementioned events by some guy on YouTube:




THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT MOMENT IN AXL HISTORY

Nick's out!! Let's Party!

Nick Hogan was released from jail at 12:30 am this morning after serving 166 days of his eight-month sentence for his involvement in the drag racing crash that injured his friend John Graziano for life.

Nick's mother Linda peeled herself off her 18 year old boyfriend long enough to release the following statement:

"This is our time as a family to come together to support Nick's adjustment back into the public life, keeping it as normal as possible. Neither Nick, nor we as a family, has any interest in making this anything but private. We respect the media's role and only ask that they respect our privacy. Nick went into prison as a juvenile and has experienced something that will mold and affect him for the rest of his adult life. His focus is to make a positive difference in this world, media-free. Since his future actions will speak louder than any words, there is no need to speak to the media at this time."

Soooo, the biggest famewhore family on television wants their privacy now? That's pretty funny. Also funny is that while in jail, Nick reportedly said that hopes to get his own reality show! What's sad is that he probably will seeing as how VH1 is giving out reality shows to just about anyone these days (Real Chance at Love, Daisy of Love, I love VD's!). They can fucking call it Nick Should Know Better.

But right now, the media needs to leave them alone? Sorry brother, it don't work like that. I wish the media would give them privacy as in NEVER SHOWING THEM ON TELEVISION AGAIN!

Seriously, is there anyone in America (or any other country) who actually likes these brats? Is there seriously anybody that enthusiastically watches Brooke Knows Best (and I don't mean watch it in an ironic "why is this annoying giant chick with no talent, personality, or any redeeming qualities relevant enough to warrant a national 30 minute television show?" kind of way.) I mean, Jesus! Nick and Brooke Hogan make Jack and Kelly Osbourne look like Donny and Marie Osmond. Enough already. Nobody likes them!!

Are you listening VH1? Read your own message boards!

The first season of Hogan Knows Best was ok and kind of fun BEFORE THE FAMILY TURNED INTO A FREAKIN' TRAINWRECK (or is that carwreck?)!! And that show was centered around someone who was actually famous for their accomplishments. And now that I bring him up, I'm sick of him too! He's just as much a famewhore as the rest of them. Anyone catch Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling? Yeah, he could disappear too. And I'm a wrestling fan! (When Hulk's music hit on Monday Night Raw a couple weeks ago, I was actually relieved when it was Charlie Haas doing an impression!)

Ok, I think I'm about done. I just had to get that out.

Oh yeah, one more thing... Wanna know the first thing Nick did to make a "positive difference" when he got out of jail? He had a loud party! Seems he's taking the Paris Hilton route to post lockup enlightenment.

FUCK OFF HOGANS!

SOURCE

Awkward!

A-Rod was spotted with his ex Cynthia (I know, I thought it was Madonna too) in Miami this weekend.



A-Rod is thinking:

A) "Oh shit, Like a Virgin. Do I change the station?"

B) "Did I bring enough Kabbalah water?"

C) "Tree, tree, tree, TREEEEE!!"

SOURCE