Thursday, January 31, 2008

A touching story of an ugly duckling

MY EYES!!!

Hard as it is to believe, the homely thing in the above photos is none other than now-beauty, Eva Longoria. Eva explains that she was once an "ugly duckling."

Try to hold back the tears for her, especially after looking at those horrid pictures of her as a young, slim, perky, cheerleader.

"I was the darkest one of my family. I was the only one with black hair and the only one with dark skin. All my sisters were light blondes with hazel eyes. They used to call me ugly duckling."

Oh yeah, it gets worse...

"I grew up without being beautiful so I kind of relied on my personality and my character. I kind of developed a skill not to depend on anything superficial because I didn't have anything superficial to depend on."

I knew it!! That sparkling personality and ravishing character just had to be that of someone who was once a troll but is now a goddess!



SOURCE




Barf now.

Showing love to D-list skanks: Paris Hilton continues her philantrophy


Us reports that a source spotted Paris Hilton and House of Wax co-star Elisha Cuthbert "all over each other and making out" Tuesday night at New York club, Tenjune club.

Both "ladies" were there for a birthday party and arrived separately.

The source added, "It's Paris. She loves putting on a show."

Elisha Cuthbert's rep denied the incident.

Seperated at Birth?




"I had long hair for a while. Almost down to my waist but I wanted to go back to my Tom Cruise cut. I told my hairdresser to shave the back and leave the front long. Then someone thought I was Tom from the back. I guess I'd better wear heels." - Selma Blair on often being mistaken for Little Tommy Cruise

SOURCE

The Package



Britney was hospitalized last night and is now once again placed on a "5150" (in non Van-Halen terms, that's a three-day psychiatric hold) at UCLA Medical Center. It is possible that the length of time may be extended to 14 days.

This all went down after Britney's lawyers hired a new psychiatrist who visited Britney last night. After taking one look at her, he concluded that she was a danger to herself and others and decided she needed to be mentally evaluated. Finally!!

A plan that Britney's family and the LAPD have been working on to get Britney hospitalized then took place. After originally being planned to take place Monday night, it all went down last night without any problems. The police and paramedics showed up and brought Britney, who went willingly, to the hospital. Over the radio, the police used the code word "The Package" while transporting Britney to the hospital so she wouldn't freak out.

In the meantime, Brit's family has been at odds with Sam Lutfi over who will make the decisions regarding her care. The good news is that none of them will!! The judge will from now on!


SOURCE

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Aren't Punks Supposed to Stink?


The world has been waiting and it has finally happened - Avril Lavigne will be launching her own perfume!

Avril filed an application with the US patent and trademark office for products including perfume, after shave, bath oil, bath soap, shower gel, body lotion, shampoo, and body lotion.

Chances are the fragrance will smell like a mix of Manic Panic, spit, and bubble gum and like her music, you'll be instantly annoyed upon the first exposure to it but the scent will stay in your head for days. Look for it to be sold at a Hot Topic store near you.


SOURCE

Are You Ready? No, fuck off!


Hey, all you thirty-something soccer moms, break out your I HEART JORDAN oversized pin (Yeah you Jennifer or Melissa - Go fish it out of the Goodwill pile you threw it in after you saw him act like a douche on Surreal Life) and tease those bangs because the NEW KIDS are back!!

Yup, it appears that the rumors of the New Kids on the Block (NKOTB if you're from the street--the Backstreet) reunion look like they're true.

The "Kids" have updated their website (www.nkotb.com) with a new song and a promotional video that asks "Are you ready?" (You know, on wrestling when the tag-team DX says "Are You Ready," they're asking if you're ready to "Suck it." I think this applies here beautifully.)

Do you remember the NKOTB-mania back in the late 80's/early 90's? N-Sync, Backstreet, even Britney--all of them together at their peak had nothing on the New Kids pandemonium. That shit was insane. They sold that crap EVERYWHERE! There was no escaping it. I remember seeing a commercial for a local car dealership and they were hawking New Kids crap to get people onto their fucking lot. My dentist gave me a fucking New Kids on the Block toothbrush! I HATED the fucking New Kids on the Block. My entire fucking female 9th grade class were like a damn
cult with their stupid fucking New Kids on the Block t-shirts, new Kids on the Block notebooks, New Kids on the Block pencils, New Kids on the Block tampons, New Kids on the Block etc. It was a goddamn fucking Hangin' Tough nightmare. I blame my fucking 1990 anorexia episode on the New Kids on the Block because I was so goddamn sick of them that I couldn't eat. It wasn't an eating disorder- it was a hunger strike!

I survived that bullshit and I really don't want to be reminded of it again.

What is with all these 80's comebacks anyway? Crazy Paula just recorded a new song and now the New Kids are reuniting. I'm sure Stacey Q, the Cover Girls, Linear, and Expose aren't far behind. I actually wouldn't mind those other ones so much. The Cover Girls ruled!!

Forever Our Drunk-Ass Girl

Since the premiere of this season's American Idol, something didn't seem right.

I noticed that Paula didn't seem like herself. She'd been speaking clearly, making sense, and giving pretty good critiques and advice. Almost...sober.

But everyone can calm down now because drunk crazy Paula is BACK! I repeat: the Abdul-Alert has been raised to "TOUCHDOWN!"

Beyonce did not break Rihanna's toe


Apparently there were rumors that Beyonce broke Rihanna's toe in a jealous fight over Jay-Z.

Rihanna has spoken out on the rumors, insisting that they are "crazy" and that there is no rivalry between Beyonce and her. (Yeah, ok.)

Rihanna told the British magazine Star, "That's crazy. Not at all (is it true). "It (breaking her toe) happened on vacation. I'd just got there and couldn't sleep, so I wanted my best friend to go in the pool with me. I ran into her room and straight into a solid mahogany chair. It hurt so much - my toe was pointing to the side."

No word on whether the toe was pointing to the left, to the left.

SOURCE

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

That Funky Monkey


Christina Ricci survived an attack from a chimpanzee on the set of her new film
Penelope when her co-star named Chim Chim grabbed on to her breast and refused to let go.

Christina described the terrifying incident,
"It's the first day of shooting and I have this kitchen scene where I'm sitting down and the monkey is sitting right next to me. Of course it freaks out during the take and grabs my left breast and will not let go, and he's so strong.

I'm thinking, 'This thing is gonna rip it's hand away and I will no longer have a boob there!' I'm so freaked out and the whole rest of the actors are turned around so no one sees that this has happened to me and I'm like, 'Help, help' as quietly and calmly as possible so this thing does not freak out any further.


Finally they got him off me but my fear is completely validated and I did not go near him for the rest of the shoot... Monkeys are crazy and you never what they'll grab onto; I don't like unpredictable animals."

Chim Chim has defended his actions, saying he was just trying to pick a piece of lint off Christina. If she was wearing the above top, he has a valid argument.

SOURCE

Jessica is a method actress


Jessica Alba plays a blind violinist in the new horror movie, The Eye. To prepare, Jessica took violin lessons and followed a blind woman around New York for days. The blind woman eventually noticed someone was following her around and called the police.

Jessica says the violin was harder to learn than playing blind: "I started taking violin lessons pretty consistently, starting with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - which I don't think I could even play that well, still. "

"And then I hung out with a girl who is a musician for a living. She's lived all over the world by herself and she's been blind since she was three. I had different notions of what it would be like to be blind and how people conduct themselves and she kind of threw all that out the window. I picked up with how she interacts with people and how she gets around the world; how she walks down the street counting steps and how she opens doors. She moved around her landscape with such ease, she's very graceful."

Nice effort Jess, but I hardly think this performance is going to rival Audrey Hepburn in Wait Until Dark, and it will probably bomb just like the rest of your movies. It's probably because you're just too hot.

Ok, that wasn't nice, but I'm just really pissed about this movie because when I heard there was a horror movie coming out called The Eye, I thought it was the King Diamond one. His voice is grating, but his albums would make much better horror movies than the poo that gets released today. They should make Abigail into a movie and Suri Cruise can play the evil possessed baby.

Speaking of babies (hopefully not evil, possessed ones), check out the latest pic of pregnant Jessica above.

(I admit it. This entire post was just an excuse to mention Audrey Hepburn and King Diamond in the same breath)

SOURCE

This is so sweet!

For all you romantics out there, check this out.

It's like a real-life The Cutting Edge!

One Night at Britney's



So like last night, Britney and bff Sam Lutfi were driving around Bev Hills and scoping out the quickie marts. They got into a disagreement about Slurpees or something like that and Brit jumped out of the car crying once they got back to her house.

Rather than going inside, she sat on the curb crying while her dog London dreamed of a normal life.

When a member of the paparazzi asked if she was ok, Britney said "I'm fine. I'm . . . having a nice time with my dog." London said, "At least one of us is, can you let me go now so I can go hump a pillow?"

Then Brit got into a car with another photographer named Filipe Teixeria. They went to Ralph's supermarket and then returned back to Brit's. Another pap joined them and the three went inside and had a Frappuccino-induced threesome. (Look for the video coming soon: "Two guys, one girl, and a Starbucks cup.")

A half hour later, guess who comes to the door, Adnan Ghalib, Brit's on again/off again/"I don't know him" paparazzo boyfriend who may or may not be pimping photos of Britney out for cash. But guess what? Adnan was turned away at the gate.

Then Sam sent Adnan some text messages calling him a "manic trigger" for Britney and even said that if the two are together anymore it "will kill her."

Then the Po-po showed up! (Brit's security team called them.) Britney drove out through the gates and paparazzi ran after her. The cops gave out parking tickets to the paps that were illegally parked.

Now it was about time for a family reunion, wouldn't ya say? Dad Jamie and mom of the century Lynne arrived a Brit's estate at 9p.m. But Britney wasn't having that and ran out again (Sometime in between the cops and the parents, Britney came back. I don't know, this shit's hard to follow.). This time she jumped into a car with Adnan.

But wait, there's more!!! His car got a flat tire. They pulled into a gas station (luckily Brit is an expert at those!) and inflated the tire.

Then they returned to the house again around 11 and Adnan left.

Then Lynne and Britney went out to a drug store at 1:30a.m.

Then they returned. Then Britney took a shit. Then Lynne made some tea and left a message for Mary Hart. Then Britney ate some Fun Dip. Then the house blew up.


SOURCE

Be Yourself!!



This is as confusing as Puff/P./Daddy/Sean John/Combs/Douche. Miley Cyrus, who's alter ego is Hannah Montana, was actually born Destiny Hope Cyrus, but now she has officially changed her name to Miley Ray Cyrus. Got that?

Between Hannah/Miley/Destiny, Diddy/Douche, and Britney/Cybil--I think there's identity crisis in the water in Hollywood. Although in Miley's case, I'll say good call.
Destiny Hope? Did Billy Ray want her to become a stripper? Or a contestant on Rock of Love?

SOURCE

Just admit it already!


So the SAG awards were Sunday night, but nobody cares who won. The big news is whether or not Saint Angelina is pregnant again after her choice of gown further fueled the baby rumors that have already been going around for a couple of weeks.

How many future saviors of mankind do we need?


Thursday, January 24, 2008

"LEAVE TOM CRUISE ALOONNEE!"



Everyone's picking on Crazy Little Tommy Cruise so Adam Sandler has spoken out on his defense. He told PEOPLE, "To see anyone's private life invaded and mocked like this is sickening. It's especially gross when it happens to a guy like Cruise, who's a great dad, a great husband, and a great friend."

And Adam's not the only star speaking on Tom's behalf.

Dustin Hoffman said,"Tom Cruise is an American and has the right to freedom of speech and freedom of religion."

Washington Redskins owner, Dan Snyder (who has a financing deal with Cruise/Wagner Productions) said,"Tom is a winner. That's a fact. He is a terrific actor, a terrific father and a terrific person. I'm proud to be his friend."

Other celebrities that defend Tom in this week's issue of PEOPLE include Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, Jerry O'Connell, and
Harvey Weinstein. (Made you look twice, didn't I?)

He so sent these people coupons for free stress tests and brainwashed them at the Center because that's easier than growing a damn set.

SOURCE

Chinese Democracy STARTS NOW..........after another 14 years of negotiations



The website for Classic Rock magazine (I know, isn't that sad?) reported yesterday that...wait for it...Chinese Democracy, the album that Axl Rose and his hired Guns N' Roses replacements have been recording for 37 years, is COMPLETE!!!

Axl's personal manager, Beta Lebeis, told the magazine that the album"was finished before Christmas".

Hmm, creation of Jesus, creation of the masterpiece that will be Chinese Democracy-do we not see the parallels?

Beta then added that: "Everybody knows that." Everybody referring to the various people in Axl's head.

She then said that as far as a release date, Axl is currently "in negotiations". Negotiations referring the new code word that will replace "putting the finishing touches on" as the reason for why the album will not be released for the next 14 years.



In all seriousness, I really hope the album is never realeased. It will never live up to the build-up. It will be the Snakes On a Plane of rock and roll. And by the sound of some of the leaked demos, it sounds like a small dog gets killed on that as well. And then that will piss me off even more.

Sad news ladies (and some gents)


George Clooney has asked girlfriend Sarah Larsen to move in with him.

A "friend" said, "Sarah is always with him, so it just made sense. Plus, he likes having her around. She has made him very happy because she has a great sense of humor and doesn't stress him out. She's easygoing and loving, and I think he really needs that right now. George has been feeling lonely. Sarah has filled the void."

If you listen carefully, you can hear the sobbing of women around the world.

SOURCE

The reality show that will never happen, but should..mostly because of it's awesome name



Dennis Hof, owner of Nevada's Moonlite Bunnyranch and star of HBO's Cathouse has an idea for a new reality show. And it's awesome!
"We can call it 'P & B: Celebrity Sex with Paris' Punani and Britney's Booty'." Dennis said, "I think Paris and Britney would be fun - and they're both tramps. Hell, they're giving it away for free, so they might as well get paid for it! It'd make a great show. I'll speak to HBO and see if we can make it happen."

Note to Paris and Britney - He does have a point!

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It's the asshat death parade!



If it isn't bad enough that the paps aren't going to leave Heath Ledger's family and friends alone and let them grieve without shoving a camera in their face, and sick fucks like Fred Phelps and his church of hate planning to pickett Heath's funeral, now we have everyone coming out of the woodwork to make a quick buck off the tragedy with dirt-filled stories.

Enter a women named Rebecca White. Rebecca was Naomi Campbell's former assistant from 2001-2003. She ran straight to the Sun to tell all about being witness to "drug binges" involving Heath and Naomi Campbell.

Rebecca said, "When I was working for Naomi I saw Heath do drugs a few times. He was new on the scene but everybody was hailing him as the new It Boy actor. We had been hanging in Naomi's bungalow at the Bel Air Hotel. Heath asked Naomi if she had any cocaine - I use to carry it around for her - and I remember giving him the packet and he went off, back and forth throughout the night."

At another event, "We went to... (a) party at this club. There was coke and a big bag of ecstasy pills. Naomi gave Heath a handful of these little blue pills and I remember him putting them all in his mouth at once and swigging a bottle of Cristal champagne."

Rebecca also claims that she purchased cocaine for Heath several times, "Each time I got an eight ball, which is four-and-a-half grams. The second time he came up all three of us spent a night doing coke in her (Campbell's) bungalow. It was quite decadent. We were there for five or six hours doing lines."

Congratulations Rebecca, you have served the world with your relevant info and profited off someone's death. I hope Naomi throws a cell phone at your fucking head!

SOURCE

Meanwhile, the initial autopsy report was inconclusive and the official results will take at least a week. NYPD sources have told TMZ that the drugs found in Heath's apartment were Xanax, Valium, Ativan, Lunesta and Restoril.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Jerry O'Connell Rules

To lighten the mood a bit, check out this awesome parody of Little Tommy Cruise by Jerry O'Connell. Jerry's got Tommy downpat, right to the maniacal laugh (to which he cleverly added a bit of Krusty the Klown to to make it even more menacing!) The edits and the laser beam sound effects add to the awesomeness!

Jerry and Seth Green need to get together and start a sketch comedy show. That would rule.

Enjoy!


(Thanks Goldil!)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

HOLY SHIT!



Heath Ledger was found dead today at a downtown Manhattan residence. Police said drugs may have been a factor. He was 28.

Heath's housekeeper told NYPD spokesman Paul Browne that Heath's body was found by his masseuse who arrived at the residence for an appointment at 3:26 p.m.

Wow, this was a shocker. So sad. RIP.
SOURCE

TMZ just reported that the apartment where Heath was found was owned by Mary-Kate Olsen. No word on whether she was there.

UPDATE 1/23 - The apartment was not Mary-Kate's. While the cleaning lady called police, the masseuse, called her friend who was an EMT. He also happened to be the Olsen's bodyguard. SOURCE


She's so hot!


So here's another photo of Paris wearing a shitty t-shirt of her shitty self. Ugh, how many shirts paying tribute to yourself does one need? Recently she was seen wearing an "I LOVE PARIS" tee. And who could forget the classic one that read "I'm Hot!" on the front and "Your [sic] Not!" on the back. That was my personal favorite.

If Paris really wants cool t-shirts of herself, she should have some made up from the awesome caricatures on Gallery of the Absurd. That would be cool:








(Sorry about the shitty photoshop work. I'm waiting for a recommendation on someone more skilled from Mariah Carey.)

The check is in the mail Wyclef

Or was that the Jacko is in the male child? Either way, Wyclef Jean is still waiting for payment from Michael Jackson for recordings of some of Michael's tracks that he worked on nearly ten years ago!

Wyclef said,
"Michael owes me money. After Mike did Blood On The Dance Floor I went into the studio with him. We did a couple of sessions. When I'm in the studio I'm very specific. I'm very tough in the studio. It was a long time ago now, but I still haven't been paid. Mike knows the money he owes me. I just wish he'd get in touch."

Yeah good luck on that man. You have a better chance of the Fugees reuniting than you will ever seeing a dime from Michael Jackson. On a possible Fugees reunion, Wyclef has said, "Before I work with Lauryn Hill again, you will have a better chance of seeing Osama Bin Laden and [George W.] Bush in Starbucks having a latte, discussing foreign policies, before there will be a Fugees reunion"

Ok, in that case Wyclef, make that you have a better chance of seeing Osama Bin Laden and George W. Bush in Starbucks having a latte, discussing foreign policies, than you will ever seeing a dime from Michael Jackson.

Michael is believed to be over 300 million dollars in debt. (Makes ya feel a little better about your Visa bill huh?)

SOURCE

Here's a name for you: DOUCHE


Guess what kids? SeanPuffDaddyDiddyJustDiddyCombs is changing his name again.

Whoeverthefuck heis says, "I have always evolved and taken a different name each time. It's nothing unusual where I come from. Right now I want to be Sean John because that's where I am."

Where exactly does he come from where people change their names all the time? The Social Security office?

Prince wasn't this annoying when he changed his name to a symbol!

I swear, I'm just going to call him Douche from now on.

SOURCE

When did this happen???

TMZ has this photo of an extremely perky and buff-looking Mariah Carey and it's perplexing me a bit.

I'm sorry Mimi, but this is stinking of staged. And airbrushed. And leaked by your publicist. And is that even your actual body?

What do you think? Abs of Steel or Body of Erasertool?

Rats again have a home!!


Amy Winehouse has gone back to her signature 'do. Thank god!! It's like when Julia Roberts went back to the curly red hair for My Best Friends's Wedding!

In not-so-good Winehouse news, there is a video circulating of Amy smoking crack. You can watch it here.

Poor Amy. She needs Jesus. Or Dr. Drew.


UPDATE: AMY CHECKED INTO REHAB!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Britney gives deposition



Wow, first Lindsay wears underwear and now Britney Spends actually showed up for her deposition today!

And she went inside!!!

Brit showed up at K-Fed's attorney's office at 10:40a.m. this morning and stayed for over two hours, leaving at 1:20p.m.

The deposition will be used in the custody trial which is set for April.

No word on the details or which of Britney's personalities gave the deposition.


SOURCE

Fucked up Craigslist ad of the week



For Sale - beautiful pink "vagina couch" that I made in art school and no longer have space for. The couch is large: measures 5' 3" long, 3' 3" wide at the middle, and stands 2' 3" tall (and is heavy like a couch). The pics are from my portfolio and are several years old; as a result, the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved, but otherwise is in excellent shape. A professional upholsterer helped me build the couch, so it is also functional and durable as a piece of furniture. The couch must be picked up in Mendocino, a 3-hour drive north of SF. I am asking for $600 and a loving home! Call Willow at [deleted] or reply to posting.

SOURCE (Thanks ikmccall!)



If you don't think $600 is a steal, I hear in addition to being comfy and durable, it is also a full-scale replica of Pamela Anderson!


We salute you Lindsay!!



Refreshing (and adequite) celebrity trend for 2008: underwear!!

Party with your pants down, Kiefer's free!


Kiefer Sutherland was released from jail today after serving 48 days on a drunken driving charge

Los Angeles Police Officer John Balian said Kiefer was wearing a shirt and jeans when he left at 12:05am and " looked like he was glad to be out." No shit?

Bailan added, "He was very humble, never complained. He didn't give us any problems at all."

Kiefer must now serve five years probation. He also has to complete an 18-month alcohol education program and attend weekly therapy sessions for six months.

SOURCE

Friday, January 18, 2008

Happy Friday!! Here's some awesomeness!

Haven't had a chance to post much today, but enjoy this amazing David Blaine video I found on YouTube!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

This Just In.....



Amy Winehouse has decided she wants to become an anchorwoman!




Oh yeah.........And,




DON'T DO DRUGS!

Jeremy Piven's kind of a stalker


Last week in Hollywood, Jeremy Piven was spotted picking up two mini-dresses from a gift suite. When the staff asked who the dresses were for, Jeremy first played it coy and said they were for a "curvy brunette" that he had a crush on, but later revealed they were for Dita Von Teese after he realized he didn't know her size. (Hey Jeremy, I'm pretty sure her waist size is -5 inches. Damn!)

An employee said, "He said he likes her, but it's not official yet." So he doesn't officially like her?

Dita's lawyer, Keith Fink confirms that the two have met and gives Jeremy this advice: "She is single, and she's not dating, so he should step up to the plate because there's a lot of guys interested."

This whole story's kind of weird. So he's picking out clothes for her, but he's too chickenshit to ask her out on an actual date?

Maybe the Dita thing was a cover and the clothes were really for himself? That one actually makes more sense. And if that's the case, he probably has a pretty good chance with Dita, since she likes that kind of thing:





SOURCE

Upgrade?

Ashlee Simpson is now a redhead. She looks good. Take note Lohan!

Be Mine, Kiss Me, Knock Me Up



Remember when you were in grade school and every Valentine's Day you had to have your mom buy those boxes of mini Valentine's Day Cards to give to your classmates and it was always weird and embarrassing? (Do schools even do this anymore?)

Well, teen sensation Jamie Lynn Spears and her Zoey 101 castmates shot some photos for American Greetings to be used for Zoey Valentine's Day cards. Upon learning of her pregnancy, bosses of the company considered pulling the cards, but they have reportedly now decided to release them anyway.

Now prepubescent girls can pass along their dreams of someday carrying their teenage crush's (or maybe even teacher's if they really want to be like Jamie Lynn!) lovechild! How sweet!

The cards will be available in select fine stores including 7-11, Starbucks, and in the maternity section of Forever 21.


SOURCE

Yawn...........

Everyone can breathe a big sigh of relief. Britney's NOT pregnant.

She was just fucking with us and/or buying the pregnancy kit for a "friend."

In other Britney news, eight paparazzi were arrested last night for reckless driving after chasing Britney and she's still doing that annoying British accent that's even worse than Madonna's.

(I realize I'm just posting TMZ links, but frankly, I'm getting a little bored with Britney's antics. It's like a child begging for attention at their parents' adults-only party when they're supposed to stay in their room and play with their Barbies.)

SPLIT


Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds have spilt just two weeks after their ceremonial "wedding" (not legal) on a private island off Bora Bora.

The uncouple released the following statement: "After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further. While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.”

PEOPLE
reports that the relationship was doomed before the honeymoon was over. A wedding guest said, "Eddie started yelling at Tracey in front of people. He did it on a few occasions and it was very embarrassing."

You know Mel B. is laughing.

I bet this guy already has a record contract

I thought after seven seasons, we'd seen it all on American Idol and there wouldn't be another audition as awesome as William Hung. Many have tried and failed (Mary Roach anyone?).

But last night there was Reynaldo.

Whenever we speak of American Idol to future generations, we shall speak of Reynaldo and his masterpiece, Brothers Forever.

In all seriousness, this song is better than the crappy coronation songs they make the winner sing at the end. For real, remember Do I Make You Proud?

And Paula is just awesome at the end. Who knew she was a member of the Happy Hands club?

Reynaldo is so gonna be in the finale with a big number. I bet they hook him up to wires and he flies around the stage sprinkling fairy dust while interpretive dancers (choreographed by Paula of course) in sparkly, flowy costumes sway. Soon after, the song will bring world peace.

I dare you not to sing along.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Tell me this isn't what it looks like


Yup, that's a pregnancy test.


Yup, that's Britney!


Yup, that's a sweatshirt from 1987.

The Hollywood Baby Epedemic Continues


TMZ is reporting today that David Spade knocked up a 22-year-old Playboy Playmate named Jillian Grace.

Jillian became Miss March 2005, after passing one of Howard Stern's Playboy Evaluations on his show.

David said, "I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility."


Yes, David Spade may have knocked up a Playboy Playmate. Don't look so surprised. Rumor is he's packin'.

Here's Jillian:


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